February 26, 2012

• clubbing and cheerleaders

  Spawn had one of her well-planned and -executed social engagements yesterday.  You know the kind where she tells me I need to drop her off at location A at 1:00pm and pick her up at location B at 3:00pm, but what she actually meant was drop her off sometime before 1:00 and wait 5 hours for the phone call to tell me that her pal’s mother is dropping her off momentarily (so quickly in fact she could have been in our driveway when she made the call.)  Whatever. She was out with a good friend, probably not getting in much trouble, and I was pretty darn busy anyhow.

  I later found out the purpose of the trip was to go to Good Will to buy a dress for the high school dance that her little alternative h.s. calls “Morp” (cleverly, Prom backwards.  isn’t that just delightful?)  I found this out as she tried on the dress she bought.  I’m a little stunned by the dress- it is not something that she would have picked on her own.  I very much saw the influence of her friend the willowy, fashion-conscious cheerleader.  On the one hand, I’m kinda put out that she did this without me.  I mean THE dance of the whole year and she didn’t want me to make her the perfect dress?  On the other hand, I’m also “yea, whatever”.  And the dress is fine.  I’ll fix what needs to be fixed so she’s decent and that’s that. 

  Except that while she was modeling the dress, she told me the theme of the dance.  (Glitter and) Clubbing.  Clubbing?  Are you freaking kidding me?  She’s all like “it’s dancing, mom”.  I’m all like “CLUBBING????”  (For the record, she voted for “under the sea” which is completely dorky and “Back to the Future”esque… and not CLUBBING.)  And I tell you that I think it’s themes like “clubbing” that gives this town the dimension it has.  As a college town, certainly lots of townie high school kids will be moving on up to the university when the time comes. 

  And what did this university have to offer this weekend?  I give you insanity.  A couple years ago, spring break unfortunately was scheduled the same week as St. Patrick’s Day.  This was disastrous.  Because it appears that college students cannot sufficiently enjoy what all St. Patrick’s Day has to offer while they are wherever they are spring breaking.  So the next year, we had STATE Paddy’s Day.  The last Saturday in February has become my town’s own private holiday so that all the university students will get the full benefit of drinking green beer until you’re stupid.  I guarantee you St. Patrick’s Day on its own was more than enough stupid for these kids.  I remember driving LLO to preschool the morning after St. Pat’s (obviously many years ago) and having to dodge completely drunk morons in green hats on the street.  They did not understand how this might be annoying and how I used to long to count points for running over people who think they have the right of way no matter where they are.  Anyhow.  So, State Patty’s Day.  An opportunity for college students and all their friends they bus in from every town within a 10 hour radius to wear green and drink.  This has been several years now that we’ve had this fine tradition. 

  Long enough, in fact, that the police and the townspeople and local businesses know what to do to regain the reputation of our town.  We import police from nearby places to help.  We have a coalition of townies to walk around not acting stupid and generally setting a good example.  And most of the local bars are closed on Saturday night now.  You’d think the message would make it through.  Wouldn’t you?  As I attended my class Tuesday night, those charming 20somethings were complaining about how the bars would be closed on Saturday and made the only statement that makes any sense at all… wait for it.  They were planning to go out to the bars on Friday night instead.  Thank goodness.  I’m glad they have that kind of flexibility.

  Anyhow.  What was I talking about?

  Oh yea.  Cheerleaders.  LLO told me the other day that she wants to quit band because she wants to be a cheerleader.  I do not think I laughed out loud.  I’m afraid I did tell her she ought to go ahead and practice her drum because it wasn’t happening.  If the main characteristic of a cheerleader was being heard, LLO would be tops.  The rest of the stuff that goes into being cheerleader material?  Not so much.  She hardly brushes her hair, never wears it in a pony tail.  She prefers to travel alone rather than in a herd.  She doesn’t like to do what (she’s told) anyone else is doing.  So, yea.  She’s a great cheerleader for me (my biggest fan, in fact), but there is no way she’s ever going to be a cheerleader for any team.  If only because cheerleader training starts in this town when you are 3 (and is yet another completely overpriced activity that we have never indulged in) and this is LLO we’re talking about.

  • 11:30 am
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