July 31, 2013

  • reveal

    I’ve always had this thought in the back of my mind that I haven’t been completely honest here on Xanga. I don’t post photos of myself.  You don’t really know me, right?  You know what I say. You know my heart. My opinions. My silliness. My Spawn and LLO. But not me. I decided yesterday that I would fix that on the eve of destruction, which I thought was today.

    Even though Xanga has decided not to have this be the eve of destruction, I will keep my promise to myself and reveal all to you, my loyal Xanga friends. You deserve to know.

    Here’s my most recent self-portrait. The truth. At last.

    Still love me? winky

July 30, 2013

  • archived

    I just saved my archives on to my computer.

    And now I’m crying. That makes me a dork. No big secret there.

    Xanga is special. It has been special to me the first time I even logged on- felt like home. And I’ve made friends who are family. I’ve listened to your stories and you’ve listened to mine.  I’ve seen your photos and you’ve seen mine (yours are better, obviously). I’ve seen you fly and you’ve given me the courage to try out my wings too.

    In any case, I’m over here in a puddle on the floor.

    And that’s all I have to say about that.


July 20, 2013

  • eh photos

    yakkity yak. Just some photos from what I’ve got going on. It’s hot and I’m busy.

    A really pretty day last Sunday.

    couldn’t decide which photo is better. This is a monument at the local military museum. A week ago I remembered what it was memorializing, today I don’t. Still, it’s cool.

    More from the military museum. This path leads up to that wall with names of all the fallen officers from the local area in WWI, listing where they died.  All but one said places in France. One poor guy died in Hoboken. In the time since I was a kid, they’ve added another wall listing all the enlisted men’s names too.

    A moment of zen. The creek is high. I used to play in here a lot.

    One of the cool things we did at camp this week.

    One of the other cool things. The kids were pretty excited about their shirts. And why not? They are indeed cool. (aren’t they adorable?)

    I’m missing Xanga or preparing myself to miss it.  Have a sappy song HERE.

July 11, 2013

  • independence

    This week is one of my favorite weeks of the year. The town where I live has this enormous high-faluting arts festival. It’s been going on for many years- we came when I was a kid (not that my parents were ever into art, I really have no idea why we came then.) And the next town over has one too, a slightly less high-faluting version. In any case, Wednesday was kids day in my town and my angels had a booth and the rest of the week there is a “young artisans” booth in the the other festival and we’re there.

    These gigs are completely different for both the kids and me. Kids Day in town is busy. Really busy. The kids make more money then and there’s no time for relaxing. Because there’s always someone to see.  Kids from school or my summer camps. Coworkers. Acquaintances. Friends. It’s 5 hours of smiling and making nice. And it’s awesome. But not relaxing in the way that the other place is.

    Let me tell you about my day today. First of all, it was the absolute perfect Happy Valley day. Blue skies with just the right amount of fluffy clouds. Sun warm is just the right way but not too warm to be miserable. And I had essentially no responsibilities. The girls know what to do and it doesn’t matter at all to me if they do it (since the money they were in charge of today was all theirs laughing).  I don’t have to worry about LLO running amuck. There’s tons of stuff around to keep her entertained- even though the bouncy house isn’t free this year. (which does not please her, but is ok with me because a stinky LLO is .. stinky.)  So I got to sit on a beach chair in the grass listening to my phone and crocheting. I was supposed to read, but that didn’t happen today. Which is also fine.  I wandered the festival checking out the art. Found something really interesting- painting acrylics on metal and something with acrylics and resin. (maybe?)  I may look into that. I listened to a really fun mountain music band. I watched a rock band do their sound check and then it was time for us to go.  Bribed LLO with an ice cream cone to watch the first set of the band- which was also great fun. 

    So. My favorite things. Live music outside. Relaxing in the sun. And kids who don’t need their mother.


    1. independence is thematically important.

    Go ahead and tell me it doesn’t count.

    No reason or connection whatsoever for this SONG.

July 5, 2013

  • 4th “fun”

    In which the house of sunshine is not very bright.

    July 4, 2013 will go down in the annals as worst ever. Truly. Well, maybe Gettysburg was worse. Anyhow. The day dawned dry and bright. I had had a lovely evening the night before celebrating my freedom from work. My kid had her first ever driving lesson and nobody was hurt or angry and nothing was broken. Looked like our Biblical rain was going to stay away for the fireworks and we were happy folks.

    Except that that feeling in my gut wasn’t from nervousness about the kid driving. We’ll just skip to the chase whereupon this 47 year old somewhat grown up woman had an epic hangover to rival the great hangover of 1988.  Yes, I do name them.  Mojito= from the devil.

    Anyhow. It became clear that my exciting plans for the 4th (and I really do love my plans for the 4th) were nixed. Gone were my dreams of taking a blanket to listen to music all afternoon for free while the kids whine about listening to music all afternoon for free.  Gone was my “Stars and Stripes Forever” played enthusiastically by the community band (which has been my dream of joining since i first found out about it.) Gone was the overpriced greasy carnie food. And the most wonderful fireworks I have ever seen. Yup. I was bummed. Spawn was ok with this for some reason- which should have given me a clue for what was to come, but since she’s such a recluse these days, it didn’t. LLO was not. Very emphatically not.  Temper tantrum not.  Obnoxious temper tantrum not. 

    Well, spouseman is less immune to the temper tantrum than I am. Or perhaps he was thinking of my comfort. Or perhaps he was thinking that not everyone should have to suffer because I made an error in judgment. So off they went.  I assumed they were having a nice time eating overpriced greasy carnie food while waiting for the fireworks to start.

    And so the fireworks began.  I was listening on the radio.  Spawn and I tried to see the fireworks from the front of our house. Not so much.  So we settled in just to listen and be stoic and stuff. Then the phone rang.  LLO, who sounds incredibly adorable on the phone, was checking in to say that she never got her lemonade and that they were at the hospital.  WHAT?  Because Spouseman fainted 3 times before the EMT’s decided a little trip in the ambulance was necessary.  She naturally wanted me to pick her up (and get her lemonade- her current selfishness is going to be remedied I can assure you.) 

    I did the first thing that I do in every emergency. Panicked. Because we are a one car family and he had it. And 4th Fest is insanely popular. Traffic is horrendous. Not city horrendous, I’ll admit. But crazy, nonetheless. And who in the heck would I have the balls to call to give us a ride into that mess? Or who wouldn’t already be in that mess? Once I finished panicking, I decided the only thing to do was to go get the blasted car. Keep in mind that I’d only been vertical about 30 minutes after the morning and it feels a lot further away maybe than it is. Anyhow. Spawn volunteered to come with me. Thank goodness. Off we went. Along the way, we saw a few of the fireworks and some set off by crazies in the neighborhood. And heard the finale.  She asked me how I knew it was the finale.  Golly, that girl is blond sometimes.

    Anyhow, walked against the flow of the hordes. I got attacked by a tree. The tree won, but I escaped. Found our car- thank goodness we always park in the same illegal place. Then began our quest to get from campus to the hospital. Not far, but not the direction you want to be going as 4th Fest is ending. We had to use blinking lights and drive on the road all by ourselves (going the wrong direction from all other traffic). And there were traffic cones moved for us and just all kinds of groovy things. Felt a little like the President.

    We made it. And had a lovely time waiting for the docs to release him. 1 am is not fun in the hospital with children. Ever. Obviously he’s fine or something like that. Snoring at this moment, in fact. For which I will forgive him.

    There’s still the possibility in my mind that that kid who barfed for me last week gave us the flu. The only one in the house today who isn’t low key and miserable is LLO. And she’s just miserable. Because she couldn’t find the remote.

    Ok. whinging done.

June 24, 2013

  • wholelottamonday

    Well. This day is just terrific.

    LLO had words with me this morning. I’m ruining her life, don’t you know. She’s getting absolutely nothing for her new-found independence.  The fact that I have to work in the morning this week instead of drive her  to and from activities means that everything is about me.  Sure, I’m having a blast working.  Working is about as much fun as you can have on a Monday morning.

    Especially this Monday morning.

    The babies started trickling in 10 minutes early, because parents either bring their kids early to camp or late.  This is a fact well-documented by years of experience. I could do a study.  Time is relative to parents.  And because they were babies (a very, very young group of kids and lots of boys. You know about little boys, right?) lots of moms hung around.  Before start time, I had a younger sibling barf on the floor.  Spectacular.  And a little boy crying to his mom.  And all these moms hanging about.  I understand about moms, I was one.  But, seriously, get out already. Within an hour, I had one mom finally say that she was taking her kid home.  I’m like, ok. Then I notice that I’m short one.  The one crying at the beginning of the day who seemed to come out of his shell and be very happy.  I’m short a kid.  Holy shit. I’ve never lost a kid. Never even come close to losing a kid.  I freaked. Spawn was with me and she didn’t remember seeing him go either.  So I go up to my boss in a panic. It’s what I do. And she looked and she called the mom.  Who had taken him home.  I’m positive she didn’t say a word to me when she left.  Spawn is positive that she didn’t say a word to her when she left.  What the fuck. Would you ever take your kid and not tell someone?  Would you ever take your kid in the first place?  Because kids are notorious for being slow to warm up.  Just let it ride, see what happens.  But no, she took her baby and didn’t say one damn word about it.  And didn’t even apologize for not saying anything.  Instead said that the kids weren’t welcomed.  What? The other mother said the same thing. So maybe it’s true.  I can’t imagine how it’s true. Really, I can’t. But it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. Because summer camp is about word of mouth.  And you’d better believe those two ladies will be word-of-mouthing

    Managed to make it through the last two hours without losing any more kids.  I think the kids were happy, but what do I know.  I think the remaining moms were happy, but again, what do I know. My boss wasn’t exactly mad, because this has never happened before. I usually get kids who want to join in, not get out.

    Then I went on the search for LLO.  Who was spitting mad.  Because instead of sitting in the shade between swim team and band camp (the plan as I knew it), she walked home and then back while wearing pants and a long sleeved shirt (excuse me 3/4 sleeve shirt) on the hottest day of the year giving her the opportunity to again mention how horrible her life is and how selfish I am for being unable to drive her around like the chauffeur I was always meant to be. It’s all about me, don’t you know.

    Because today was so much fun.

    Now I’m going to go hide somewhere. Preferably with my eyes closed.

June 23, 2013

  • i can read

    I got a book out of the library- must be 3 weeks ago because it’s nearly overdue and therefore it’s time to open it.  It called to me on the shelf. It has Tinkertoys on the cover and the mighty engaging title of Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast.  Yep, I like to do 6 impossible things before breakfast, but not before coffee, let’s be clear on that. Obviously, if I can do them they are not impossible.  Don’t cloud my thinking with your reality, thank you very much.  Anyhow, I read the introduction, something I don’t usually do, because I’m pretty sure I can figure out what a book is about by reading it.  Anyhow, as I was reading this intro, I had a couple points where I felt the need to scratch my head.  The author called himself an “atheist reductionist materialist”, he doesn’t believe in anything, and explained that he will explain “evolutionary biology” with “Just So” stories. I’m intrigued. Because he sounds crazy loco to me. 

    In other news, over there is that.


    Also, Spawn got back yesterday from a beach trip with her church youth group.  I just had the most fantastic opportunity to use my joke about her finding Jesus on the beach.  Even her friend laughed hysterically. 

June 19, 2013

  • wonderland

    Busy week. Kinda kicking my butt. Fun, though.  Alice in Wonderland theme.  I can’t take credit for the theme idea, but I’m having fun with it and the kids are quite clever and creative.

    Squiggle painting with my wonderful assistant and her sister.  They both heard me call E by Spawn’s name- if I ever hear from Spawn again, she will LOVE that! as it drives her out of her mind when I call her E by mistake. oops (Spawn is away at the beach with church group, finding Jesus and not calling her parents.)  Well, that was an interestingly punctuated sentence. You’re welcome. :)

    We’re doing scenes for crazy characters (which are undone at this point, but perhaps less undone by this afternoon) and I thought these two paintings were just fab.  Many of the others are as well, but I didn’t get pics of everything with anonymity preserved.

    Trying something I’ve never attempted before, but acting/reading is art too so we went with it.  And we naturally had to paint a backdrop for our recitation of the Jabberwocky. It’s even cooler now, but here’s in progress.  Yes, that would be a Jubjub bird and the Jabberwocky is in the middle getting blood all over him. Yikes.  Oh, and there’s a beamish boy to the left of the Jabberwocky.

    We had a tea party yesterday.  Wow. We’re not ready for the queen. :)

    Completely unrelated. My wacky little wildish roses.  Which are not red.

    Surely we need a song too: HERE.  trippy

    cannot believe I forgot THIS SONG which is on the radio right now (to satisfy my daily requirement of Tom Petty). 

June 16, 2013

  • moths of summer

    Here’s what I’m thinking about.

    LLO is celebrating summer by living at the pool.  I’m ok with this.  Except that (isn’t there always an “except”?) she’s going by herself.  All the time. I’m not aware of any meetings of friends- I’m sure she sees people she knows.  I know she’s having fun.  But 12 year old girls can’t even go to the bathroom without a friend.  Don’t you think this is weird? And it’s further complicated by the fact that she asked me the other day if she was old enough to walk to and from the pool.  I dropped her off and she walked home. I was stunned actually. Further stunned by the fact that she did it again Friday and yesterday.  I suppose it helps that there is a man-made wetland on her way home.  She digs that thing. Anyhow. She’s independent.  Who is this kid?  And should I be worried that she’s independent slash isolated?

    On the other hand, she’s moaning and groaning about the start of band camp tomorrow.  A thing she asked for (which about knocked me off my chair.)  So, she’s still my girl and not some alien.

    Isolated, though. And she’s not the only one. 

    Spawn is not isolated at this moment as she is on the beach with 100 of her closest friends and several insane adults.  But, this morning when we dropped her off to catch the fancy bus to the beach with all these closest friends and insane adults, she hung out with her family.  All of the other teens were clustered together with their peers.  And all the other parents were clustered together with their peers. And the four of us antisocial folk hung out together.  And, on the one hand, I’m cool with that because my kids aren’t embarrassed to be seen in public with their parents (although they should be because we crazy) and I’m going to miss the snot out of her (eventually) so it was great to have those last moments and extra hugs.  But this is how it is with her too.  Not exactly a part of a gang.  Probably closer to the adults, in fact, than the kids.  It worries me. 

    Then again, she’s not the only one either.

    Because I’m hiding. I could have joined one of the parental chit chat groups this morning. I didn’t feel like it.  In fact, I don’t really feel like associating with anyone right now.  I think I’m ok hanging with kids.  I like them. :)   Which is a good thing because my summer break is pretty much over.  I start camps tomorrow.  And that’s ok, because kids are easy.

    Anyhow.  Connection to moths HERE.

    And a really cool song HERE.

June 15, 2013