October 27, 2012
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perfection
Don’t worry. There is none of that here.
One of the things I like to do (especially when I need some calm) is play the piano. It quiets my head usually. Gets my brain and fingers aligned with each other. Just generally soothes. I need some soothing this morning. Feel free to send chocolate, hugs, and minis.
This morning, I was playing a song I’ve been working on for a long time. It’s a tough one, boys and girls. I know that I will never play it perfectly. I can’t play even easy songs perfectly. Which is what I’m writing about here. I started playing this song and it was “perfect”. Until it wasn’t. That one measure that always gets me got me this time too. And I stopped. Because I wanted to know how far I’d gone on perfection. 13 measures for the record. So I started over again and played terribly- kept making mistakes. My head was focused on perfection instead of music.
Then I let go the need for perfection. And the music did its job. What I can see is that those parts that are difficult are getting better and easier. I see that what was once measures and notes and fingerings is more lyrical. I feel the song curl its way around. I look at the words on page 2, “con anima.” I know enough about music to know this means with animation or with spirit.
What else does it mean, though? Jung, an important part of the message this year- as he is every freaking where in my world-, explains the anima as the the male’s feminine side present in dreams and also calls the anima the source of creativity. Or possibly the true self. From the Latin, anima means essentially soul. My sad little memory was convinced it was mind. Mentis. Mens sana in corpore sano. Not so much. Anyhow, what high school Latin teacher is going to talk about souls? Certainly not the plum and blue bewigged Mrs. (shoot, I had her name a second ago and it fell out of my head.)
Creativity is as necessary as air.
My brain and I are not real connected this morning.
What a lovely video. Music notes. It doesn’t look that hard does it? Sigh.
Comments (62)
toe tapping helps
You must be awesome on the piano! I bought an antique piano, more for the looks, second cuz I’ve always wanted one and wanted to learn how to play. Then I bought a self learning music book and did what I could to teach my silly self. I play for my own personal enjoyment and kicks. And I agree, playing can be soothing.
@armnatmom - oh heck no. that’s not me and i can’t play it that fast. but i play for me. and the cats and people don’t always hate it.
@longshadow618 - beats kicking things.
@promisesunshine - I had to check to see if we were ‘friends’ before this was posted. I didn’t want it repeated for ya..
Anyway, if you’re interested and BORED….
http://armnatmom.xanga.com/757769530/songs-of-the-season/
Please keep in mind, the piano is old, and no longer tunable. And I’m not good, but was willing to be a good sport. Feel free to laugh, I know I did..
You’ve found the secret.
@armnatmom - hmm. i know i’ve listened to your piano before. before the wrist problems. maybe it wasn’t this lovely holiday share. which is delightful. and i do love your old piano. and i’ve always enjoyed listening to other people play piano too.
bravery is a lovely thing. i don’t have it.
@runisom48 - hey there. yes, i’ve found the answer. it’s been there all along.
love Chopin. (need to add that movie of he and George Sand to my list of movies about artists*she says to self*
love that you’re playing this. love what you know about creativity, not to mention what you add to our lives here. ok. what is it my beloved anne lamott says? stop listening to station KFKD 
oxoooooooooo
@Bels_Kaylar - i is slow today. station KFKD? you are mighty kind. long list of movies i haven’t seen. long list.
@promisesunshine - Truly sorry for sounding like a broken piano, I mean record…
@promisesunshine - i wasn’t sure if that was too obscure:kphucked. don’t listen to station kphucked. she says “If you are not careful, station KFKD will play in your head 24 hours a day, nonstop, in stereo. out of the right speaker in your inner ear will come the endless stream of self-aggrandizement, the recitation of one’s specialness, of how much more open and gifted and brilliant and knowing and misunderstood and humble one is. out of the left speaker will be the rap songs of self-loathing, the lists of all the things one doesn’t do well, of all the mistakes one has made today and over an entire lifetime, the doubt, the assertion that everything that one touches turns to shit, that one doesn’t do relationships well, that one is in ever way a fraud, incapable of selfless love, that one has no talent or insight and on and on and on” from Bird by Bird.
That principle is very applicable to life in general. I wish I had that ability.
@armnatmom - stop! no reason to be sorry. i enjoyed it. very much.
@Bels_Kaylar - my left speaker works better. much better. (i was trying to spell the letters out)
@lanney - you have creativity. is that the principle you meant?
The concept of letting go of perfection and finding true meaning and natural flow.
@promisesunshine - turn off left speaker. turn up the right speaker (and get someone to wire it to the left one, too
@lanney - does it seem like letting go of perfection is easy? it is only essential. not easy.
@Bels_Kaylar - that left speaker chick is a bossy b. and i can’t help thinking the right speaker is not so great either. good grief, who would walk around all the time thinking “i’m awesome”. sounds a little self-centered to me. certainly more convenient than expecting everyone else to say it. i dunno. i’m crazier than usual today.
@promisesunshine - ok, i should have clarified. momentary listening to right speaker, just to balance out all the s…. from the left one. but you’re right, Silence or chopin, would be better. oxoooooooooooooo ok. i need to go draw/sketch a cat, as gift for some xangan or other
oxoooooooooo
I used to play my clarinet for hours. People could tell how I was feeling on any given day.
@Bels_Kaylar - i need a nap.
absolutely
they sound connected to me
and oddly i had similar thoughts earlier, while reading.
it makes sense
Music is very soothing for the soul. It’s wonderful that you can make that happen for yourself.
All ways wanted to play the piano. And the guitar. Have been lazy today. Getting caught up on the sleep department…
yep. just play it as you want to, let the details take care of themselves.
beautiful music.
@Zoz36 - me too. i was so pissed as a kid that my bro wanted organ so we got organ lessons. who the heck plays organ.
@plantinthewindow - i have a couple favorites to play, but that one definitely suits my mood this weekend.
@Broom_Service - it’s ridiculous how often i forget what playing does for me. so when i get stressed, the piano is the first thing to get left off the agenda. until i remember.
@bonmots - yea. i think you probably need to write like most people need air.
@ANVRSADDAY - that is cool. i wish i played an instrument that well.
@promisesunshine - You may forget but your subconscious doesn’t… and it will remind you of it.
We had an organ way back in the day. A really small one. Never could figure the damned thing out… Listening to some Bruce Hornsby wail on the piano…
I love that you play piano, it’s one more thing to add to my “why she inspires me” list. I love this: “Then I let go the need for perfection. And the music did its job. What I can see is that those parts that are difficult are getting better and easier. I see that what was once measures and notes and fingerings is more lyrical. I feel the song curl its way around.” That is all that matters. You ARE a very creative soul.
@songoftheheart - i play with it. it is so hard to just say thank you.
I took 3 years of Latin in HS. Mrs. Conquest – taught Latin and Spanish. There were only 2 Latin classes so all the 3rd yrs had to sit in the 2nd yr class and do independent study. A friend and I translated a comic book – the Swamp Thing! hehe! Fun times!
@murisopsis - 4 years for me. i was going to do 2 and then study french, but no, i let a friend convince me to do the last two as well. i vaguely remember making faces across the room. it was so frustrating when the easier wig lady was replaced by a gargoyle. translating swamp thing sounds more entertaining than that thing with all gaul divided into 3 parts.
The sounds are that fo a water wall flowing gentlely int he rain. That is where mt mind takes me when I hear this music. Peace.
@Grannys_Place - i think you have just identified why i like it. i had no idea. maybe there’s a waltzing waterfall poem somewhere.
That happens to me often when I am playing my sitar.
@ZSA_MD - i would love to hear you play the sitar.
I wish my parents could have afforded to let me continue taking lessons when I was younger. I suppose I can still teach myself. I need to find a way to escape when my brain won’t shut up.
@Erika_Steele - i recommend it. it is certainly easier if you can read music well, but i know there are books that help. i let my daughters quit (i hope temporarily) because i couldn’t deal with the nagging. music is so good for the brain.
@promisesunshine - John’s school gives free lessons after school. He couldn’t take them this year because he wasn’t reading, but he will be able to next year. I think he will love it. Once I get a real house, I plan on having a art room where I can explore more of my creative side.
My introduction to Chopin was 45 years ago when we returned to the jungles of Colombia with a stack of Peanuts books accumulated during our year of furlough in the US. There is one strip in which Snoopy is blissing out by the piano as Schroeder plays. Snoopy slides down to the ground, thinking, “Ah, Chopin!” Since I had never heard the name spoken, my first reaction to the printed name is always “Ah, Choppin”!
I would love to be able to play Chopin even poorly. I’m glad you’re learning to enjoy the process.
@Roadkill_Spatula - i love that description “blissing out by the piano”. i can’t help smirking a little bit when i play that one as i think “chopin liszt”- totally need that memo pad for my groc. (for the record, i thought it “choppin” for a long time)
@Erika_Steele - free lessons! that is fabulous. i’m glad you will take advantage of that when you can. art room sounds pretty great too. i hope you stick to that. it’s easy to let mom’s needs head to the bottom of the list.
:3 this post is such a bright thing to come to …music is such a marvelous thing and I’m so amazed at your creativity as always.
Pretty music. I like Chopin, it seems easy but it isn’t. At least, it’s not easy for me because I have two left hands when it comes to playing piano. Well, maybe I wouldn’t if I had ever taken piano lessons. But I’m certainly not naturally gifted.
Anyway, yeah, I think music is really awesome music when it’s not about being technically perfect but also feeling it. In that way it’s possible that someone with almost no musical literacy like myself can still get enjoyment out of it.
I can relate. When I play music and focus on making everything right, I tend to mess up a lot more. Actually, that can apply to everything. The more I focus on making things perfect, the more I mess up. But when I forget about that and just focus on having fun or a good time, it can be thrilling!
Awesome post!
I must admit that my perfectness has only take me so far in life. After that charm and raw guile must be allowed free reign.
@jon_thebommb - i think that was where i was going with this. thanks for your visit
@leaflesstree - are you left handed? it takes a lot of practice to do both hands.
@xXxlovelylollipop - nothing to be amazed about here. but thank you
@PrisonerxOfxLove - free reign charm and guile are so much tastier than factory farmed.
Screw it and break out the Billy Joel.
Holy crap! Is that the Chopin piece you’re working on? I could only handle the slow Chopin numbers. Don’t get frustrated; I know exactly what you’re talking about. I love how you incorporated Jung into your thoughts on this.
A mini, as requested. Love Chopin.
@Kellsbella - probably more than a year on this sucker. and i play much slower.
@ordinarybutloud - thanks for the mini.
Beauty is only in the eye of the beholder which means there can be much beauty found even in things that are not “perfect”. From a fellow piano player who also plays for “calm” and a fellow ponderer of Jung and the like, take the easy road on yourself here. The music is great as I am sure is the player
@Lesley - my daughter specifically asked me to play today. so she could dance.
I’ve never had any luck with Chopin myself. I just can’t get in the vibe for it. Are you playing piano? I’m on classical guitar. I think I may need some chocolate or pie or something myself today… or fettucini alfredo… That’s a good comfort food… or chili and cornbread…
Or maybe I’m just way too hungry and anything will work. ha.
More coffee it is!
@oceanstarr - piano. i tried guitar earlier this year. too complicated for my brain right now. just had some comfort food and coffee myself. and then i screwed up my data. thinking of throwing my computer out in the rain.
@promisesunshine - I had scrambled eggs, dried apricots, and some cashews with way too much damn salt on them. Why is it so hard to find nuts without salt? I hate salt. It burns my lips and makes me cranky… sigh… Piano is too hard for me… takes too much space and isn’t portable.
Cranky cranky Starr today. Blargh…
@oceanstarr - it’s ok. you deserve a cranky day. i agree. too much salt on stuff.
@promisesunshine - It’s like every time I get through a tough deadline, there are 1000000 more things that have to be done RIGHT now… Ah well… It’s the life I picked right?
@oceanstarr - i understand completely. never done. i took a couple hours of me time yesterday and now i think i’m going to have to panic.
@promisesunshine - What is this “me time” of which you speak? lol
@oceanstarr - it’s the time you steal from daily life that turns around to bite you in the keister.
Just as a snowflake requires a tiny center of dust, beauty must have a flaw to grow around.
@Inciteful - what a lovely thought. thank you.