October 1, 2012
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the offender
#whimsh 23. Write a HAIBUN ( 4 pts)
It’s a day ending in “y”, so I had some interaction with school personnel. Today’s gem was an email reporting LLO’s “conduct referral”. I logged on to the computer to get the full picture, since an itty bitty phone report wasn’t going to fully capture the thrill of this report. First thing I see is that she has been referred for “unacceptable language/ gestures/actions”. I don’t know about you, but seeing that particular grouping of words all grouped together in a group (of words) unleashed the imagination of just how horrendous this could have been. I’m imagining a tirade of expletives in her regular voice (which is louder than most PA systems) and a couple matching gestures and stuff.
middle school arrest jail time before 12th birthday banned from libraryWould LLO care about being banned from the library? This I cannot say. One day in a recent summer I was desperate to get us out of the house and into a place with air conditioning. I suggested the library. LLO said, “Why would I want to go to the library? There’s nothing there for me.” I wept, I tell you. Last spring, I saw LLO walking home from school with her nose in a book, I grabbed Spawn and we held hands and did the dance of joy. It was that kind of miracle. Frankly, I was ok with the concept of her reading only Series of Unfortunate Events books for months, because she was reading.
lemony snicket books not so unfortunate super geniusBack to the scene of the crime. This is what was said about her unacceptable language/gestures/actions: “During book selection in the library they were running around the stacks, hiding from each other and playing instead of selecting books appropriately; disturbing both staff members in the computer depot and the library.” And she’s the OFFENDER. I read this and felt like letting loose an unacceptable language. I mean really. You are going to write up a pair of 11 year old kids under that charge for that offense?
you are in 6th grade it’s not time for recess now: no felony chargeI’m all kinds of aware that this behavior is uncool. And so is LLO. I just have to laugh about the “both staff members”. I suspect that the filer of this felony report probably meant more than two people, but the way it’s written makes me think that two people were chit chatting on facebook, drinking afternoon coffee and were annoyed that they had to get up out of their chairs. Did I mention that this offense happened on early Friday afternoon? Why am I hearing about this on Monday morning? Seriously, I would have said some different things this weekend had I known my kid was on the fast track to an alternative lifestyle with the state. Today I don’t care so much.
And then there’s Spawn. Whose love interest just got back to school after being SUSPENDED.
mama is darn sure that this stuff wasn’t covered in the manual
Comments (33)
And the very best thing is knowing that this is the easy stuff. Heh. LOVE this haibun.
Clever and funny. Glad I stopped by before bed. Thanks.
lovable hooligans
laughter and drama forever shall
inhabit your lives
I must comment now
But I write haiku responses
When you write haiku.
like my cousin up above me in comments, i love this, too. now that’s what i call a full report. thank you, sunny-one
Love this. SO delightful.
This is great! (but what the heck is a haibun?)
@songoftheheart - haibun is a prose thing littered with haiku. bels did a terrific one last week (or yesterday. time is fluid for me) and the mouse lady did a gorgeous one this morning.
thanks
@ZSA_MD - thanks zakiah.
@Bels_Kaylar - you just can’t make this stuff up.
@SandraErickson - i just have to laugh sometimes. because i know that i am in SO MUCH TROUBLE.
@promisesunshine - ahhhhhh…then I am even more impressed!
@Thatslifekid - @lanney -
haiku addiction
keeps fingers and brain moving
it’s like chisembop.
and i’m sure neither of you know what chisembop is. especially since i have no idea how to spell it. it was advertised more than “hooked on phonics” when i was a kid.
sounds like good stuff
Somehow I think you’re right about the librarians face booking. People are more annoyed about their leisure time being upset than their work, unless they’re workaholic. Also lol at schools taking this so serious. I’m sure if they banned her from the library she’d be upset because now she will have to hide behind trees. Adults ruin all the fun. Especially librarians. (Except maybe the ones with tattoos?)
@leaflesstree - incidentally i happen to be facebook friends with the lady who wrote the referral. who has said nothing to me about it. which is fine, truly. honestly it’s just the label that bothers me.
@promisesunshine - that is EXACTLY what my mate says. ‘you can’t make this stuff up’. although, at the moment he’s outside cursing telescopes. again
@Bels_Kaylar - unacceptable language. referral coming up.
@promisesunshine - heh. as your kids will tell you, THAT is the point of being a ‘grown-up’, one can do as one wishes. i know, right? but, i understand.
The kids behavior just didn’t fit into a listed category.
Hehe! LLO is having as hard a time as you are no doubt! Loved this journey.
keep littering!
Oh my, her “love interest” . . . suspended. Yikes! Anyway, this whole ruckus seems crazy to me. They’re kids, they will play, but I suppose they should know better than to do it in the library of all places. Guess they knew it was Friday and like the rest of us were getting antsy to run and have fun. hehehe
This reminds me of the time that I was informed by the Principal of a school near Phoenix that my “services are no longer needed”, because a pair of sixth graders were playing hide and seek in the Library, while I was subbing for the Librarian.
Yes, it was a Friday. Kids are great; adults, sometimes not so much.
This reminded me of when I was grounded as a child when we were living up in Ohio. To help past the time, cuz I was not allowed to go out of the house for any reason, I read books. Talked my mom into letting me go to neighbors house and get more books too.
Haiiiiii-BUN!
May as well get your daughter some tattoos now. At least the conditions will be more sanitary than when they do them in prison.
Hahaha, this one made me laugh.. I don’t miss those school days most of the time, but when I read things like this I do! I bet she was totally in the banned book section of the library – that REBEL!!
If it makes you feel any better, my kids wouldn’t read to save their lives until JK Rowling saved the day. There’s hope, I swear. As my kids grew older my expectation bar dropped until I was considering myself a successful parent because they didn’t go to jail or get pregnant prior to graduation
@olwd - ”love interest” is such a funny term. it really is just an opportunity for me to make fun of her. i don’t think she even talks to him. also i think she said he had a ninja gizmo which is how he got suspended. zero tolerance, i guess.
@BoulderChristina - my bar gets lower every day. for myself too. some days i’m a successful human being just because i got out of bed.
@Roadkill_Spatula - that is just not fair. i get the first tat in this house.
@armnatmom - and just how did you get grounded, young lady? i got in trouble for reading too much. i’d be reading in the bathroom when i supposed to be doing the dishes.
@RighteousBruin - i’m so sorry to bring up that memory. seems like an over-reaction on the part of a principal.
@starmanjones - only you can prevent forest fires.
@Inciteful - it’s crazy. in the scheme of things, this is what we want to address as inappropriate behavior.
@promisesunshine - No way??? lol
You better remember this when it’s time for you to be put in a home or to stay with them and their family. lol
@olwd - i know. when i’m old and senile she’s just going to laugh at me.
@promisesunshine - HEHE, enjoy it while you can.
your first haiku made me laugh out loud.
this is really good, and fun. although unfortunate that the staff members wrote her up for this. gah. dorks. some staff members can be dorks.
@plantinthewindow - running in the library is at the end of a very long list of our concerns for this kid. and the people who look at the bottom line rules rather than the whole kid can kiss my ass. i just want to put this behind us. butt i do go on.
‘lemony snicket’
… LOL… I’ll have to remember that one. The updates on your family always tickle me. I see a possible sitcom in the making.
FTR – there is no manual!!
I knew libraries were a bad influence for prepubescent girls.
@Kellsbella - also. there was a boy involved.
@MzSilver - roseanne? married with children? i think we’ve been done.
oh good. i’m glad there isn’t a manual. i wouldn’t have read it anyhow.