March 10, 2012
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hoarding ugly
bluemooncat enormous thing. write a piece about a hoarder
There was a chink in the armor. In rushed that petulant thought… it’s not fair. Not fair. NOT FAIR! And with that small thought, the hole in the armor became a little bigger. No glue to be found. The moon took that away. That and the scourge of all womanhood. Nothing to hold a patch, no patch to be had.
And so another petulant thought, accustomed to sliding past the shiny metal, discovered the fertile ground within. Ground that fully accepted, encouraged and nourished… I don’t want to. Which bloomed in black, fist-sized petals of anger and jealousy.
Anger. No real cause. Doesn’t make it any less. Anger that bubbled deep and hot and ugly. Hotter than hateful words. Uglier than why won’t you. Not so deep. Not anymore. Close enough to the surface for deep lines on a face more commonly smiling, for mean in eyes more used to seeing. Heart stamping, spluttering, stabbing.
Jealousy. Ever present, that nasty stuff. Why? Why not? All because it’s quiet. Because it’s not how I want it. Because no one is saying what I want to hear. No one is saying anything to make it better. So those words that I need must be going somewhere else. Wasted. Because they were meant for me. My right. I own them. Or I won them. Or maybe I just need them. I’m on Word Welfare. Because I want more.
The shiny metal protection- is it protecting me or everyone else- melts, burning against skin. Hurts. Blisters. Every thought brings a tear and every tear brings more anger. And why am I why do I spins out of control in the lava of anger pockmarked by the steam of tears. Burning.
No thought to how this volcano will stop or what happens next.
That will come later. When the lava cools and the tears dry and the shiny armor is back in place and the eyes are human and the lines on the face are from smiles.
Comments (23)
And you say you’re not deep; this is exceptional.
@lanney - i’m just glad i feel human again.
i’m not sure what the solution is, but i’m pretty sure it’ll involve duct tape.
@complicatedlight - all the best solutions do.
USA! USA!
@complicatedlight - i think i’ll move to canada
Jeezuz. Talk about hoarding.
Oh, is this the bubbling?
@gayXianmom - yup. but i’m better now. the crazy is all put away. thank goodness.
Wow. Very strong and powerful imagery. Thanks for sharing
that was excellent! somehow the obscurity heightened the impact. loved the overall effect.
hey, we got to see you up there! lovely!
@curiousdwk - thanks for reading.
@distractedbyzombies - i like writing obscure. apparently.
“I’m on Word Welfare.” What a neat line. My you are very philosophical with this work! I’m rushing off to check my DSM IV. There must be a category for this, but it eludes me at the moment. Seriously, I like this piece a lot.
@vexations - now i’m a little torn between being all pleased with the rec and stuff and being nervous that you think i have a mental disorder. let me know what you discover.
You are so sane it is not even funny…… darn, I was hoping to be able to treat you. @promisesunshine -
@vexations - well, if you think that i’m sane… you might need treatment yourself.
very well said. you think alot.
@plantinthewindow - i think it’s feelings. but thank you.
@promisesunshine - you think it’s feelings, or you feel it’s feelings?
@plantinthewindow - maybe i feel it’s thinkings.
basically i can’t allow you to think that i think, for some reason, i think.
@promisesunshine - I was actually thinking that you felt it was thinkings, but I didn’t want to say so.
@plantinthewindow - i feel certain that your thinking might be correct.