December 27, 2011
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#WinterSH hole
Write a poem using spaces as a device, such that the reader surmises from context the line that could have been written into the space, and the poem makes sense with or without that (implied) line’s presence.
there’s a
(in the) bucket the sand slips away the sands marking the passage of time time never to be regained, restored, repeated once active hands, holding hands, productive hands do
not. no purpose. no action. mind, once capable of thought, humor, creativity is
silent, slow, deathly quiet, beyond boring no kind words, no clever words, no words at all dull, dry, dismal, dismayed, depleted, disappointed null and
meaningless, pointless, purposeless, fruitless tired, so tired. need
to breathe, to be, to rejuvenate, to resuscitate to fill the bucket to become
full. fill the bucket again
Comments (55)
yes, it does slip away. needs to be filled constantly.
good write.
@plantinthewindow - thank you. the fam didn’t care for it. i am so freaking empty today.
@promisesunshine - meh. you have to sometimes take fam opinion with a grain of salt.
@plantinthewindow - seriously. what do they know about esoteric poetry?
Wow, there’s something haunting about this poem that I really, really like…
It just kind of hits you like a huge gust of wind. //bad comparison. sorry.
the universe abhors a vacuum, name what is missing and it will be filled. family sux sometime, they have to love us, but, they dont have to like us or treat us kindly. nice write!!
@pillowflights - as long as it’s a cold wind, it works.
@longshadow618 - thank you. the fam doesn’t have to like everything i do. and since i’m so poopy, i don’t blame them much.
definitely true i’ve lost an edge. improving my mood over time brings it back a bit, but hey…who are we fooling, right? this is a one way ticket. time’s arrow. we move past and that’s the way it is, never to return. on the other hand i don’t exactly have as much to prove anymore. so the bucket is a bit less filed. whaddya gonna do. i think you yourself told me we have wisdom. youth would never get that. youth…is wasted on the young.
and that might be part of the problem.
I like the rapid succession of words falling like the grains of sand from the bucket.
The stars will realign themselves soon, I hope, and we will none of us feel so empty.
@complicatedlight - jeez. i was saying i was temporarily warn out and wasted a whole damn day. now you’ve got me ready for the nursing home. hope there’s cable and bingo.
@lanney - thanks. i do love a happy accident. and could definitely use a star realignment.
@promisesunshine - hey. the best surprise is no surprise. chance favors the prepared mind…no matter how little of it is left.
@complicatedlight - such a joy to have you stopping by. come again soon.
my passion bucket for this poem is full
You did a great job on this one, it seems to be speaking to everyone.
aw. i’m just poking fun at myself, c…
hmph.
@godfatherofgreenbay - very cute. @drawmafreezone - thanks. and i feel better! (but it could be le mis) @complicatedlight - sure, i knew that, p. and a little of me too. but, that’s ok. it’s easily done and deserved.
@complicatedlight - don’t be all grumpy. silly bear.
yes. much better.
@complicatedlight - let me know when you have control of your emoticons. i’ll be waiting….
@promisesunshine - LOl you are very good at keeping the comments all going at the same time. Expert juggler at work!
@drawmafreezone - only one person looking for attention this evening. (besides me)
and now the bear is probably in his den.
@promisesunshine - LOL you’re probably right about that. I should be doing one of the million things on my to do list and instead I’m rambling around Xanga.
@drawmafreezone - i’ve given up on today. my goal for the rest of the evening is smirking. and i’ve done that! and packing. which i’ve also done. and wrapping. which i haven’t done.
@promisesunshine - Packing? Roadtrip time? Now that sounds like fun
@drawmafreezone - yes, road trip. requiring much attitude adjustment. but there will be presents.
@promisesunshine - I adore road trips, I’m not so fond of presents but you have to take the good with the bad. Are the wee ones going along?
@drawmafreezone - the reason for the trip. and the bounty. grandparents. the spoilers. yippee
@promisesunshine - Ahhhh yes, So you’ll be more packed up coming back than when you’re going?
Try to have fun despite the spoiling
@drawmafreezone - puzzles and games in my immediate future. and a clock that does bird calls on the hour. you take the good with the bad.
@promisesunshine - Oh I hate those clocks. They’re so enjoyable during the day but at night not so much. Some of them have a setting that lets you turn them off at night. If so you may want to find it FAST.
@drawmafreezone - i want to find the shotgun. day or night. i can’t even begin to tell you how much i hate that thing.
here i am, sitting here with not one clever thing to say except you done a great job here. words – between the lines of age. <3
That’s haunting.
intriguing… of course first gret way to get me to think of what isn’t said- without no introduction I’d not have been inclined to think about further meaning to feel something was hinted at more.
:)
@be_the_rain - :) @onestepcloserto_perfection - such a downer. but now i’m up! @starmanjones - i. um. thank you?
great write… interesting the way those blanks can be filled in !!
like!
@gayXianmom - thanks. how’ve you been? @roscoes_farm - glad you liked it, dear c. i like filling in the blanks.
@promisesunshine - Introspective. Moody. - I have the week off and my daughter’s away. It’s a weird transition – wonderful in so many ways and also a little vast. I’m cleaning a lot, sort of looking at everything anew. How are you doing, hon?
@gayXianmom - also introspective and moody. not alone, not cleaning, not looking at anything new. it’s nice for her to be with her dad, but it has to feel a little quiet. hope you get some happy in there.
@promisesunshine - Thank you! Yes there’s much happy in there too – quiet happy, loud happy. Today we’re going to meet my brother and his family at the zoo. Last night we announced our upcoming wedding at a Hannukah party in the middle of people telling stories about their weddings in Israel and stuff. I think we were the only goyim there, but folks were so excited for us getting married, it was cute. :)
@gayXianmom - zoo. that’s fun. i can almost imagine the hannukah scene. that is cute.
@promisesunshine - Lots of candles and latkes
Also many interesting and surprising parallels between folks trying to have religious weddings and legal weddings and ending up getting married 2 or 3 times (which of course happens in a lot of gay marriages too). I wouldn’t have thought about that similarity but it was kind of cool to discover. One couple had gone through all the religious instruction and were almost to the ceremony and asked their rabbi if this was going to be legal and he was like, “Legal? I’m a dentist. Of course it’s not legal.” So they got married 2 days later at the courthouse too for good measure.
@gayXianmom - legal, i’m a dentist! that made me laugh.
@promisesunshine - Isn’t it a great line? :)
@gayXianmom - unfortunately it made me think of hermy the dentist in that cartoon. with the abominable snowman and such. i just can’t be serious.
Line spacing, emjambment, are fun to try to use in poems. I like what you did here.
@vexations - thank you
bellisima. Truly.
@adventofreason - thank you. means a lot from you.
This is great. I think it might benefit from different spacing/line divisions but I understand the demands of the scavenger prompt, but such lovely wording beneath. Great work!
@distractedbyzombies - tanks. i actually like being restricted by those prompts. we’ll have to see if i write anything when the scavenger hunt is done. hmm… now i see one way i would definitely change it. from your suggestion. cool.