December 26, 2011

• spawn song

  My baby is 15 today.  It doesn’t feel at all real.  This little bundle that came into my life cannot possibly be perched on the threshold of adulthood.  She came into my life as a bit of a surprise and turned it totally upside down in the best way possible.  Her dad and I had a rough time for a little while.  We were separated- I thought forever.  Then on Thanksgiving, I came to my senses and realized I didn’t want to live my life without him.  So we dated and then moved back in together.  The moment we moved back together, we started the path to the future that was the spawn.  (that might be tmi and a little hokey, but there it is.)  And she changed us both in amazing ways.

  Changed a lot of people, in fact.  I remember being a little miserable on Christmas 15 years ago.  My in-laws were overjoyed.  When we called them and said we thought I was in labor (bwa ha ha- shows what I knew back then), they cheered.  She was the only grandchild on both sides and my in-laws (my parents too) were so ready to begin that portion of their lives.  They drove the worst 2 1/2 hour drive in the history of driving every other week at least for years.  It kind of drove me nuts, but they were so in love with that girl it’s sweet.  My father-in-law is a hoot.  He loved holding her when she was fussing.  He’d pat her bum so hard you could hear it across the room.  I swear she stopped crying so that the pounding would stop.  Darn, they were cute with her.

  And why not?  Because she was (and is) adorable.

  

  This little angel didn’t like to sleep at night.  There were many, many nights that we were up together.  In fact it got to the point that I’d just turn the light on in her room and stencil.  I put the cutest little balloon border in her room during those nights.  She thought I was fascinating and stopped crying.  She didn’t sleep through the night until her sister was born- 4 long years later. 

  

  Good thing she was cute.

  We had some rough times too.  When she started school it got a little ugly because she’s random and distractible and drove me out of my mind.  Summer of 2nd grade I told the pediatrician that either she or I needed to be medicated.  At the time we focused on her (I got medicated later too, but I’m happy to report we are both drug-free now).  And what a good decision that was!  Because my little ADD princess had such a wonderful 3rd grade year.  She had the perfect teacher who encouraged her creativity and kindness and helped her focus.  It was a good year.  She was the student out of nearly 400 who was chosen to direct the symphony when they came to her school.  She was in the newspaper for having her ornaments in a local shop.  She bloomed that year.  And I went from holding my breath in worry to realizing that my daughter was a lovely girl: capable, thoughtful, kind, creative.  This is the child who stills lives with me.  Each year brings more of the good to the fore.  And I thank my lucky stars.

  

  Oh, the spawn story.  Last year, she missed the school bus practically every day in the morning.  I got irritated, really irritated, because this is what I do.  So I started calling her spawn on facebook.  Then I realized that she had a really good reason for missing the bus.  The bus is loud and she liked talking to me in the car.  So spawn became much less a negative thing in my mind.  And she admitted that she thought it was kind of funny.  So it stuck.  And we talked about a lot of things in the car.  In fact, our best conversations are still in the car.  Doesn’t mean I like picking her up from school.  But I do complain about it a lot more than I actually mean it.

  Because my daughter admits to knowing me in public.  She held my hand yesterday.  She tells me random, unimportant things.  And she lets me embarrass her publicly on a regular basis.  So, it’s all good.

  Happy birthday, spawn.

   

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