October 24, 2011

• misplaced

  Lost is something I do.  I am terribly disorganized, so I’m often in a panic looking for something that I need.  I have a hook for my keys because I kept dropping them somewhere and not knowing where.  Of course I don’t always hang them on the hook.  I can never find my checkbook or my ATM card.  No, I don’t keep them in my purse because I don’t carry one- I often leave it behind anyhow.  I lose my books.  Whenever I want to read, I have to waste the first few moments finding the current book.  I get lost driving.  I was 1 1/2 late to a shindig I didn’t even want to go to last weekend because (the directions lacked a KEY landmark) I couldn’t find the road I needed.  When I try to get organized, I usually forget the brilliant place that I’ve put something that made so much sense at the time.  So.  I do lost.  I have a firm and perpetual understanding of lost.

  I also have a firm and perpetual (I thought) understanding of funny.  I’m silly.  I love to laugh, giggle, guffaw, snort, chortle, twitter.  I love humor and can find it in odd places.  I like to pun with the big dogs.  Even the little dogs.  The worse, the better.  I think the things kids say and do are hilarious.  I’m ashamed to say, I think burps are a riot.  I find farm implements funny.  I embrace my dirty mind that gives me endless blushing and giggling.   I think bubbles coming out of my nose are funny (although I must clarify that beer bubbles aren’t all that pleasant.)  I even like jokes and funny pictures and the stuff of regular humor.  It’s important that you know this to know just how serious this is.

  I have lost my sense of humor.

  I think I cracked a feeble smile today.

  I laughed on Saturday.  I remember, because it was about a hoe.  It was in the afternoon.

  And with the loss of my sense of humor, I am silent.  Or at least I should be.  Because of what I have lost with it.  I’ve lost patience.  I’ve lost my internal filter.  I’ve lost the ability to recognize when I’m saying something I shouldn’t.  I’ve lost the ability to enjoy what is offered.  (My post yesterday where I needed to convince myself to enjoy a beautiful fall day?) I’ve lost the ability to even pretend that it’s ok.  Yesterday, someone told me to have a relaxing day and I went into a long tirade on how this wasn’t going to happen.  Wow.

  Basically, I’m begging.  If you have seen my sense of humor walking around on the street in your neighborhood, please send it back to me.  I need it.

  • 5:36 pm
  • 15 Comments