I want to wear jammies all day long. Which I get to do on Monday ’cause it’s pajama day at school.

I’m tired of brushing my hair.  I want to leave it the way it comes out of the shower.  Very attractive.

I’m tired of being too wiped out to stay up past 11.  I used to be a night owl.  I like the night life, I wanna boogie.  Ha, just kidding.

I want to read a book.  Preferably get to the end when I remember what the beginning was about.  Or where I put it last.

I want to get bored writing bad poetry.

I want to suck up dust bunnies.  Let me rephrase, I want dust bunnies to be sucked up.  By somebody.

I want to go somewhere fun.

I want someone to reach in my head and do the thing I most need them to do without me saying a word.  On the other hand, I’ve gotten pretty good this week asking people to do things for me.  Amazing. I’ve discovered that “yes” happens more often than “no”.

Positive, not whiny things:

High school choir concert last night- a little taste of all the high school choirs.  It was amazing.  From 9th grade mixed all the way up to the cream of the crop auditioned Master Singers.  Sophomores sang this song. (not them, i didn’t record anything)  In any case, the music program here is phenomenal.  I love that my kids like most of that. (They both like choir- it’s band that causes the drama.)

Presentation tomorrow night in class.  It’s no biggie.  I keep telling myself that.  In any case, it will be long done by this time tomorrow.

Anyhow.  That’s that.

The universe has been speaking to me lately.  For a while, I wasn’t getting the message.  Friday, I went into one of my favorite places to do one of my favorite things.  I’ve been working at this great art studio place doing summer camps and in-service days for several years.  Art. Kids. Completely coincidentally I make a lot more money doing that than for my real job.  Go figure.  Anyhow.  I knew I only had 3 little girls, all of whom I knew, and Spawn was coming along for volunteer time and I had lots of painting planned.  I love paint. Don’t you know.  Anyhow.  So I was kinda excited.  Until I walked in and immediately saw what this usurper woman had done to my studio. 

Anal Ana the queen of organization and cleanliness.  She’s going down.  Not that I’m opposed to organization and cleanliness.  Well, yea, I am.  It’s an art studio.  You make it clean and neat and I can’t find anything and I have to worry about making a mess.

Anyhow, Anal Ana annoys me.  Mostly because she painted over my freaking window.  A couple summers ago, I started doodle painting on a window frame and had kids help me.  It’s fun, for one thing, and just imagine coming back to a place summer after summer to see something permanent that you helped paint.  I mean the kids now.  I think it was valuable for them.  In any case, this summer Anal Ana painted over it.  Without permission from the bosses.  With permission from the bosses, my crazy friend and I started repainting it the week we did camp together.  And one of the kids from Friday helped.  Imagine my surprise when I walked in on Friday and the first thing I noticed was that the window was now teal and yellow (except for the places that someone didn’t paint. ha ha. so it looks sorta crappy). 

I went ballistic.  I must say.  For about 10 minutes before the kids arrived.  Because how could she do that TO ME! And she has filled the studio with the most obnoxious stuff.  Prefab cutesy colorful painted shelves and boxes.  And these disconcerting enormous paper doll things with stick legs and black circle eyes that stare like zombies.  And colorful mini plastic chairs.  I just wanted to barf.  I didn’t understand who died and made her queen.  I seriously thought that maybe this was a sign from the universe that I was done working there.  Vomitous saccharin cute is not my thing.

Then I had a fun day and I realized that once again, I had misinterpreted the message.  Because Anal Ana, first of all, didn’t do that to me.  She did it because vomitous sacharrin is her thing.  And we should pity her.  Anyone who thinks round-headed paper children with skinny black stick figure legs and big black eyeballs are anything but creepy should be pitied.  What’s more, I realized that the Overgrown Barbie is equally to be pitied.  The women’s club that she thinks is so important and all the other cookie cutter clubs that she belongs to where the most important thing they do is lunch gives her purpose.  So, when I remember that this stuff isn’t serious, it actually becomes funny.  Besides, I’m nearly done with her. 

In other news…

My funny cat.  The late night walk attendant.  The one who sometimes goes to school with me.  The one who who avoided us for months (because we are goddawful loud people).  The one who looks at me like I’m goddess.  Anyhow.  This afternoon I got in the car and started driving down the street.  I look over to the right and about wrecked the car, because there is Princess Buttercup with a “holy crap” look on her face.  As I turned the car around (since I wasn’t really looking for company where I was going), she took a stroll along the dashboard.  Put her paws on the steering wheel.  I don’t think she was trying to help me steer.  I think she maybe was worried that I hadn’t noticed her.  Ha. By this time I was pretty close to the driveway and she ended up all over me.  Of course I’m laughing.  Poor terrified kitty.  This is what happens when people (not me) leave the car doors open.

In other other news…

LLO played the cowbell in church choir today and I grinned through the whole thing thinking “needs more cowbell”.

Any day that includes one of these has gotta be pretty all right.

It’s a double, even.

I am a doormat.  At this moment I am a colossally pissed off doormat.  And this current issue, in the scheme of all potential, existing and imaginary issues in my life, shouldn’t matter.  I’m ticking down the minutes where I have to give a crap about that freaking women’s club. 

This overgrown cheerleader is going to be president next year and truly I feel sorry for the Board because… well, because I do.  A few weeks ago, she offered to help me by proofreading the directory that is my big (pita) job for the club (aside from screwing up nametags for the big fall soiree).  It is her duty as pres-elect to make the cover.  I reminded her several times and did everything but hold her hand to get her to do this cover.  I did my part, sent to printer and waited for the proof to be ready.  Finally called them last Saturday and they were waiting on the cover.  Which was annoying.  I emailed her again to remind her about the cover and to make the glorious suggestion that I just do the damn thing for her and to see when she could proofread for me.  Well, she doesn’t answer email on weekends.  So I get a message Sunday night to phone her Monday morning.  Why do I need to phone you?  Just answer my dang questions.  I emailed back repeating my questions and reminding her that I work for a living and that I was very busy on Monday.  She sent me another email informing me when I could phone her at her convenience.  Thank you so much.  Well, the phone call at her convenience, was essentially you can make the cover for me and you can drop the proof off at my house.  Gosh, thanks.  She had the proof for 2 days.  2 days!!!  I called her last night and she said I could pick it up this morning.  Gosh, thanks.  I picked it up and her note says “without the originals with corrections, I couldn’t proof.”  I’m sorry.  Did you actually want me to hang my computer on your door?  What originals?  There are no originals.   Two days.  To tell me she couldn’t do it.  And she OFFERED to do it.  I could have had someone with a brain do this 4 days ago and this job could be off my plate.  My very full plate.  Also, she didn’t say a word about the cover.  No thank you, no good job, no nothing.  What a freaking prima dona.

I hope nobody else offers to “help” me.

Also, this morning my father informed me that he wants to have a conversation with me today.  Oh goodie.  I can’t wait.  Spouse tells me to “have a positive attitude”.  I’m not going to say anything to that.  Is it ever something you want to hear when someone asks for a conversation?  I don’t think so.  I’d like to have a conversation with spouse about that piece of paper he didn’t think I noticed (which he apparently took to work with him.)  I’d like to have a lot of conversations today.  Instead I think I should probably take deep, cleansing breaths and have another cup of coffee. (and maybe a tylenol for this whopper of a headache)

What the heck, gratitude list:

1. I’m not parenting doormats.

2. I can survive the next two months and if I can survive the next two months, I can freaking do anything.

3. I live in a beautiful place with amazing blue skies most days and mountains and trees and interesting weather.

4. I have a great job that I love that almost pays enough to buy gas.

5. I have a lot of wonderful people all over the place who care about me.

6. My parents are living and mostly healthy.

7. I can decide for myself who and what I am.

Oh, hey. The other kid just reappeared.  Cool, I know where everyone else now. 

#whimsh Create a piece of WEARABLE art/craft that means something significant to you.

I took on a challenge yesterday that I didn’t even realize would get me credit on this scavenger hunt thing that I’ve been ignoring for days.  Ha.  The challenge: embrace my masculine side with painted man shoes.  A Good Will voyage later, I had man shoes which Spawn claims were ugly and were always going to be ugly.  Here they are my manly clown shoes.

Even though my shoes make me happy, I think I will rant.  I’ve been nursing this one all day.  The odds are good that I have unreasonable expectations of people.  Just in case it seems that way, then I can say “yea, I know.” 

We’ve been friends with a family since Spawn was in 1st grade.  Spawn and Emily were good friends.  LLO and Tori were good friends.  Same ages.  Live in our neighborhood.  The mom and I were kinda friends, but not close.  Emily has Asberger’s Syndrome which I think we ignored more than anything.  I think we’re tolerant people.  For a while Tori had Anger issues and we were accepting of that too.  We had the same church activities and it was convenient for me to drive all the kids at various times because I was going and their mom was not.  Tori came to our house after school often.  A summer ago, Tori seemed to be at my house every darn day exactly at lunch time. (which annoyed the crap out of me, because you know I don’t like to feed people.)  We watched their pets when they went on vacation.  Because we are nice.

One day this summer, all hell broke loose when my girls and Tori were at the pool.  It was ugly with a capital U.  And the next day when LLO called Tori to play her dad pretty much said no freaking way.  And they haven’t played since.  And Tori ignores LLO at school and on the bus and at church.  And today, I was 4 feet away from Tori’s parents and they wouldn’t even look at me.  And I’m hurt.  But more than that, I’m pissed.  Because I think loyalty should count for something.  And I have been more than loyal to that family.  When Tori was having bad days at elementary school, I hugged that girl.  When the mom had breast cancer, I did whatever they needed me to do.  All of the girls’ playdates and sleepovers were at my house.  So.  Those people suck.  And that’s that.

I hate to be used and discarded.

This is what I spied upon my bed this morning!

Yup. I screamed.  Like a girl. 

One of the kids at school (and adorable little child who has discovered that I blush when I laugh, so he tries to make me laugh all the time) found a spider picture in a book he was reading and wanted to know what kind it was.  I actually was successful discovering its identity on the computer.  Wolf spider, for the record. So now I’m the expert on finding species names of random animals.  The boys are constantly showing me pictures. 

I guess I’ll be looking up this menacing sucker when my heart rate gets back to normal.

Obnoxious day of good fortune.  So if you can’t stand to listen to a long list of itty bitty things that made yesterday pretty freaking amazing, just cut to the end.

1) Played hookie, went to doctor, got drugs for my sinus infection.  So I may actually feel like a human being for longer than an hour per day.

2) After napping all morning, I tried to rescue my wheelbarrow plants in containers that were ridiculously small (because that’s what I had) and this made me laugh.  A lot.  I know my kitty cats will be the next beings laughing about my indoor plants.  Maybe something will break and I can de-stuffify. It’s all good. 

3) I talked to my prof before class about the fact that I hadn’t turned in last week’s paper and he said not to worry about it being late because he hadn’t read them all yet anyhow.    It’s still crap. A more alert classmate discovered the hidden final due date on the syllabus, which is not soon.  yay.

4) I was moaning about the big honking paper I have to finish a draft for this month and a classmate asked if my advisor was helping me with that.  To which I responded that I hadn’t asked for help because I don’t like him anymore.  (He hurted my feelings.)  And she said she’d send me the guidelines they’ve all gotten from another class they are taking.  HUGE.  I nearly kissed her feet.  Seriously, flying blind was not working so great.

5) We had that comet sighting which was proved to be false.   

6) Got an email from LLO’s teacher.  It was a really, really good email.  She has a good attitude and enthusiasm.  She’s getting her work done.  And she’s been polite.  (She being my kid and not the teacher, who is also doing those things, but not my concern) This may seem like small potatoes to you, but this is huge for my little (felon) angel.

7) I got to talk to a lot of my favorite people too.  Not all of them, mind you.  There are only 24 hours in the day. 

LLO is going away for most of the weekend.  We haven’t had all of our people home for a night all week.  Maybe we’ll watch R movies all evening. ha.

HAVE A SONG

Field trip today with the kittens, I mean kids.  Some photos.

We went to the the greenhouses on the college campus.  So we learned a lot about planting media and the disappearing peat bogs of Canada and how vermiculite is volcanic or something and so is the other one that I can’t remember the name of but starts with p. There was talk that we were supposed to see plants that butterflies like but instead we saw tropical plants and cacti. I didn’t know this was an orchid, but I do think the bambooey stems are mighty cool.

Also discovered that aloe smells like Campbell’s chicken noodle soup.  I didn’t know I disliked that smell until today when kids encouraged me to sniff their piece of aloe and then I had to stand next to several branches while somebody talked about something.  I have no idea what this is, but isn’t it incredible?

We also had a picnic and ice cream at the college creamery.  Even though I had to have vanilla instead of Peachy Paterno, it was still yummy.  The ice cream anyhow.  While the kids were burning some energy, I saw this fab tree.  Huge.  I’d love to know how old it is.

Then we took our munchkins to the art museum on campus.  This part is my favorite, don’t you know.  I like the American masters that they usually talk about, but the changing part of the exhibit is the coolest part.  We saw this photograph . (the one of Sarah Bernhardt done out of toys. much cooler in person) Amazing. I wanted to show you the shoe sculpture too, but you might as well see two of the others.  (especially since I liked the chick in the high heels doing construction) So here.  I didn’t take many good pictures.  But I do totally dig this sculpture (@bels_kaylar).  I forget the name of it, but it has something to do with a prisoner.  Love it.

This present was hiding in the corner of a stairwell.  I think it’s purty. In a kitschy way.

So. There you go.  My day.

I apparently butt dialed my friend’s phone.  And this made me think of Cotton Eyed Joe. The song, you know.  And there’s a good reason for that.  A reason anyhow.  Because this is the ring tone she has for when I call.  One evening this summer we were sitting on her porch which kinda overlooks a nice creek, a lovely location for the things we like to do, which is talk about deep subjects giving them the appropriate seriousness.  Anyhow.  She asked me- I don’t even remember why- “where did you come from?”  and well, I just had to.  I said “cotton eyed joe”.  Which sent us into gales of appropriate seriousness and prompted her to give me a ring tone of my very own.  Just thinking about it makes me laugh.  For those of you who didn’t use to hang out a country bar,

And I’ve been thinking, even just a little bit, about where I’m from.  In class the other night, we kinda wrote our own versions of “Where I’m From”. The original is HERE.  I’ve seen this poem used before in another class in which an English teacher wrote a soul-baring version of it that she shared with her high school class to encourage them to be brave and open with their writing.  I didn’t share mine in class.  Which is no surprise to anyone who’s heard me talk about how I don’t talk in class.  This class is the worst, in fact, of me not talking in class.  For some reason, every time I open my mouth in this class something incredibly stupid comes out.  I’m not exaggerating.  Even.  Anyhow. 

Then I got to thinking that I don’t generally think about where I’ve from or where I’ve been because I’m always wondering about where I’m going.

Which is how I ended up with Diana Ross and the Theme from Mahogany.  Makes perfect sense, right?

Which reminds me.  The other day, I was contemplating the half empty/half full thing.  And I wondered if you were just a little bit of a pessimist, if the cup was 1/4 empty.  What about 3/4 full? Does that make you a little bit of an optimist or does 1/4 full make you the rosiest of the rose colored glasses? And why don’t we have a scale on this?  There are changing scales for every other thing.  Why is the optimism/pessimism thing just 1/2?  This is what I need to know.  The kinds of things that occupy my brain cells.

Speaking of half a brain, I heard the Pina Colada song on the radio the other day.

And now I’m going to see about acquiring some orange juice, some good drugs, and a nap.

Incidentally, one year as promisesunshine. It’s been fun, Xanga.

Update.  No more caterpillar poop for me.  The last crawlers croaked and all the others were hanging out in green.  Except we now have had 4 butterflies emerge and today let them go.  This is one of the most fun things.  Really.  The kids are excited- big ones too.  I took my phone out to take pics.  However, one of the butterflies thought my camera hand was a good landing spot.

They also liked the butterfly garden that the primary division plants and takes care of.

And completely unrelated, the last rose of the year.  By far the prettiest one too.

College homecoming parade tonight and the first home high school football game since they condemned the home bleachers.  The field was built on a sink hole.  No rush to fix that.  I’m glad to see the end of this week.  I’m mildly hopeful that before the weekend is over I’ll finish the things I was supposed to do by yesterday.