There is one good thing about Halloween. Taxation. Because as the mom, procuring of Halloween costumes and all around best thing that ever happened to them, I deserve my cut of the booty. And they know which candy is the right kind. And they know that if they don’t give me enough, there will be a penalty. And they know that wherever they hide the extras, I will find it when my rightful share of the booty is gone. And that means I get an extra cut.
Government is good.
So. It’s snowing. I’ve mentioned that once or twice today. Some people thought I should take pictures. Now I’m wet (because I still refuse to wear a coat) and mildly disappointed. We’ll add snow to the list of things I can’t adequately capture with a camera.
Dogwood. This tree is gnarly.
I kinda like the redbud leaves amongst the black and white
whatever. at least you can see we’re getting a couple inches.
naturally the prettiest tree is not in my yard.
helpless little roses
So don’t tell me I never did anything for you.
Sometimes it just takes a kid to see what needs to be seen.
It started snowing a couple hours ago after raining the whole night. There’s the thing of it being only October. Last time we had snow in October people were without power, some for days. So it’s darn early for snow and maybe a lot of people are unhappy. Especially those who have come in to celebrate another important win or drown their sorrow of a loss. Golly, football is important in this town.
That’s really neither here nor there.
Because this nagging, rarely clean, little loud spitfire knows what it is all about.
And, of course, she’d build that snowman in the middle of the leaf pile she’s been enjoying all week.
Dang, I have most excellent friends. I let it all hang out there on facebook with my ever so lovely comment that I “still want to slap someone”. ‘Cause I’m just really darn cranky today. I’m sure you hadn’t noticed. A college buddy o’ mine said I ought to look to this scene of yet another movie I’ve never seen but clearly need to add to my playlist. Of course she was right. Not to say I’m a violent person. I’m really not. I don’t generally go around needing to slap people. I know plenty of people for whom a good slap might do the trick. But I’m not going to be giving the good slap. Just to clarify. Anywho. I laughed until I cried when I saw this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EjNa8Ukg_0
I’ve noticed that I’m not alone in this whole irritated/frustrated thing. And some people are happy and at peace and wow, am I ever jealous, cause I’m just jealous. And maybe I could put my finger on what it is that’s bugging me. Because we are well on our way to the holiday season. I’ve got the little loud one nagging the tarnation out of me to make her freaking costume. The little dirtbag actually took a bath tonight and combed out her dreadlocks because I told her I wasn’t starting the costume until she did. THAT’S how anxious she is. I have never let her down. I swear this to you on a stack of whatever you want me to swear on. Well, costume-wise, anyhow. Just stop freaking nagging me! So there’s Halloween. Yahoo. Close on the heels of Halloween we start Birthday Season. Because everyone in our whole family has a birthday between Nov. 8 and Jan. 27. Ev. er. y. one. All the grandparents, siblings, spouse, me, spawn, little loud one. Even the stinking sister-in-law (who is actually very nice) fits in to the family plan . I have to tell you, it is a pain in my butt. Throw in the multiple Thanksgivings and multiple Christmases and we have me going completely out of my mind visiting annoying relatives (who really are actually very nice) every other minute and needing to give someone a present every other day. I HATE the holidays. Did I mention we have the only grandchildren (aside from grandpets)? Everyone wants us to give them their fair share of actual holidays. And I’m incredibly greedy. I just want to have my own holiday in my own house with my own people my own way. But no. This is not to be. I must instead SCHEDULE, emphasis on over-.
Add in all the performances and shows and stuff that come with fall and holidays. Then add in all the final papers and stuff that go with the semester from hell. I’m not a happy camper. I just want to crawl back into the last day of summer and pretend that time has stood still just for me.
Because I want to slap someone.
You might give me good advice: take one day at a time, remember the reason for the season, be thankful, focus on the freaking positives. Yea, bite me. I should be grateful that we have everyone we should have. I should be grateful that my family is awesome. My kids are healthy and happy and involved. I should be grateful that it’s possible for us to spend time with our loved ones. I should be grateful.
Instead the holidays grate on my nerves and I want to slap someone. Perhaps you’ve heard.
So @buddy71 was kind enough to suggest I tell 7 truly fascinating things about myself. Big mistake.
1) I talk too much. My philosophy is why say one word when two will do. Really it just goes exponentially from there. And sometimes the words don’t really make much sense. And sometimes I might end up actually saying the wrong word or just substituting a filler word when finding the right one takes too long. Hoozidink is my favorite filler word. If I have an opinion, you will know it. If I don’t have an opinion, I might just fill the space anyhow.
2) I’ve been known to make a scene. Especially out with close friends. I will laugh. Loudly. I will sing along with the radio. I’ve been glared at more times than I can count. But I love it when random strangers walk over and say something positive about how much fun we’re having.
3) In addition to making noise and scenes, I make stuff. Not as much stuff as I’d like, of course, because I have a real life.
This was my first adventure in my favorite mitten pattern. Incidentally the little pink ones are too small for my little loud one now. So if you know a little girl about 8 or so and suck up to me, I’ll send them to you. Also, if you know where I put mine, please let me know. I can’t find them.
4) I like music. A lot. Preferably loud. And of many varieties. I like Whitesnake and the Scorpions as much as I like Beethoven and Mendelssohn. I love Journey, Queen, the Monkees (not the Beatles thank you very much), love all kinds of schlock from the 80′s: Depeche Mode, OMD, perky crap that makes you hurl. (saw both Journey and the Monkees in concert here in the middle of nowhere in the past 10 years- totally fun) I’m embarrassed to say I like Prince and Madonna and the first album from Lady Gaga. Santana makes me swoon. I have country moments too: Faith Hill, Martina McBride and Taylor Swift are my favs. I’m completely obsessed with Sarah Brightman- she has the most depressing Christmas CD in existence. And I’m really stoked I have tickets for Vienna Choir Boys for my birthday!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9vROjzy9uI&feature=related
Totally rocking hot Journey song. My favorite song to listen to while slaying the grass.
5) I tried to learn to play the oboe a couple years ago. When I went to rent it, the salesperson was incredulous that it was for me until I mentioned that I’d played the other double reed instrument. I did NOT tell him that was in 8th grade (which was an eon ago). I actually had a lot of fun trying to learn. I sucked. But honestly I think everyone sucks at the oboe for a long time. It was quite entertaining to sound like a sick duck and annoy children and pets. I expect when I have a little less going on, I’ll try again.
6) Speaking of children, my daughters are absolutely the most important thing I’ve ever done. They completely changed everything about my life, in a good, good way. They are loud, obnoxious, difficult, brilliant, hilarious, beautiful, exasperating, humbling, exhausting, and several other adjectives. They make me roll my eyes, laugh, pull my hair out, and be grateful every day when they go to sleep.
Old picture, as cheesy girlies are soon to be 15 and 11. Oh. My. God.
This one currently is giving me a run for my money.
7) I’m a sugar fiend. I’m not talking chocolate neither. Chocolate has it’s time and place and all those fine medicinal qualities. But it’s candy, pure sugar, that gets me. Twizzlers. Spree. Sour Patch Kids. Sugar Bombs. I have me quite a sweet tooth. And I don’t care for cake. If I’m having dessert it’s pie, baby. Pie. Sour cherry, apple crumb, blueberry, fruit sugar pie. Or cookies. The more goodies the better. Best cookie recipe ever:
bonus 8) Hooters song (a Philly band from the 80′s): “you change your mind like the weather, you promised sunshine, but it looks like rain.” one of my very favorite song lyrics. Totally me. Right up there with “act your age, not your shoe size”.
So, several people that I think are interesting, but probably not all that likely to play this here game (and probably haven’t already done it):
@BubblesLarue25 real life friend 
Lost is something I do. I am terribly disorganized, so I’m often in a panic looking for something that I need. I have a hook for my keys because I kept dropping them somewhere and not knowing where. Of course I don’t always hang them on the hook. I can never find my checkbook or my ATM card. No, I don’t keep them in my purse because I don’t carry one- I often leave it behind anyhow. I lose my books. Whenever I want to read, I have to waste the first few moments finding the current book. I get lost driving. I was 1 1/2 late to a shindig I didn’t even want to go to last weekend because (the directions lacked a KEY landmark) I couldn’t find the road I needed. When I try to get organized, I usually forget the brilliant place that I’ve put something that made so much sense at the time. So. I do lost. I have a firm and perpetual understanding of lost.
I also have a firm and perpetual (I thought) understanding of funny. I’m silly. I love to laugh, giggle, guffaw, snort, chortle, twitter. I love humor and can find it in odd places. I like to pun with the big dogs. Even the little dogs. The worse, the better. I think the things kids say and do are hilarious. I’m ashamed to say, I think burps are a riot. I find farm implements funny. I embrace my dirty mind that gives me endless blushing and giggling. I think bubbles coming out of my nose are funny (although I must clarify that beer bubbles aren’t all that pleasant.) I even like jokes and funny pictures and the stuff of regular humor. It’s important that you know this to know just how serious this is.
I have lost my sense of humor.
I think I cracked a feeble smile today.
I laughed on Saturday. I remember, because it was about a hoe. It was in the afternoon.
And with the loss of my sense of humor, I am silent. Or at least I should be. Because of what I have lost with it. I’ve lost patience. I’ve lost my internal filter. I’ve lost the ability to recognize when I’m saying something I shouldn’t. I’ve lost the ability to enjoy what is offered. (My post yesterday where I needed to convince myself to enjoy a beautiful fall day?) I’ve lost the ability to even pretend that it’s ok. Yesterday, someone told me to have a relaxing day and I went into a long tirade on how this wasn’t going to happen. Wow.
Basically, I’m begging. If you have seen my sense of humor walking around on the street in your neighborhood, please send it back to me. I need it.
making a list (and not checking it twice) of why today doesn’t suck
1. it is a very pretty day. i liked how the fog was hanging on the top of the mountains and that it burned away while i was wasting gas. not that this photo is of either fog or mountains. still it’s a pretty day.
2. i actually accomplished some tedious things this weekend.
3. pumpkin spice coffee is tasty stuff.
4. my girlie had fun at her first high school dance and she didn’t dance with any boys.
5. nobody has ever perished from giving a presentation or writing a paper.
6. i finally figured out the psychoninjamicrokitten is bugging the crap out of me at night because she misses her litter mates.
7. it’s not november yet.
8. i have every right to do something today that doesn’t have to be done. like a picnic.
9. my little anti-library kid expressed an interest in going to the best place on earth.
10. monkees.
It seems likely that I have reached the absolute limit of functional intelligence. Really. Last night I went to the store and couldn’t remember my birthdate. I almost forgot to pay, couldn’t remember which pocket my keys were in, and just generally was goofy. I started laughing. The cashier laughed along when I said I might be a little tired. Then she suggested I drive very carefully.
This was all on the heels of seeing many, many people I knew. Well, they thought I knew them. I saw huge amounts of people who actually seemed glad to see me. One of them, at least, knew me by name. I smiled and said hi. But I have NO IDEA who these people were. I have no recollection of ever having seen their faces. It happens often enough that I recognize someone, but can’t place them. Usually I get the connection of who they are and how I know them… in the middle of the night. But that has the requirement that I recognize the face.
I’m a little frightened. Am I living a double life that I just don’t know about? Did I get that lobotomy that’s been on my Christmas list? Will I recognize my own family tomorrow? Will you be seeing my face on a milk carton?
I suppose it’s possible that I have WAY too much going on. ‘Cause, yea, I do.
What’s my name again?
I snagged this off facebook.
Love.
My friend, a big sweetheart of a sucker, is running a halfway house for the local neighborhood strays. She’s incredibly allergic and pretty miserable, actually. We discovered a couple months ago that one of the strays was knocked up. So the cat birthed those babies- a pile of the cutest little bundles of fluff- and my poor sucker friend added 8 kittens to the halfway house. The babies are about 10 weeks now. Yea, I had to have one. It was a humanitarian gesture. Really.
We’re rough on pets. We haven’t gotten a kitten this little since we had spawn. But microkitten can take it. She can dish it too. This morning she kept hiding under the bed and attacking my feet. Her teeth are sharp. So now she’s ninjamicrokitten.
And, yea, I can hold her upside if I feel like it because she keeps me up at night, chewing on my nose.
She thought the camera was pretty interesting. Maybe it should be psychoninjamicrokitten.
Two weeks in our house and the other 3 (count ‘em, 3!) cats still can’t stand her. 1:1 ratio of people to pets. What the heck was I thinking? Interesting. The spouse just mentioned that the gender ratio is similarly balanced. One curmudgeonly male, three girlies of assorted ages. He’s a lot nicer than our p.i.t.a. tom.
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