June 16, 2013
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moths of summer
Here’s what I’m thinking about.
LLO is celebrating summer by living at the pool. I’m ok with this. Except that (isn’t there always an “except”?) she’s going by herself. All the time. I’m not aware of any meetings of friends- I’m sure she sees people she knows. I know she’s having fun. But 12 year old girls can’t even go to the bathroom without a friend. Don’t you think this is weird? And it’s further complicated by the fact that she asked me the other day if she was old enough to walk to and from the pool. I dropped her off and she walked home. I was stunned actually. Further stunned by the fact that she did it again Friday and yesterday. I suppose it helps that there is a man-made wetland on her way home. She digs that thing. Anyhow. She’s independent. Who is this kid? And should I be worried that she’s independent slash isolated?
On the other hand, she’s moaning and groaning about the start of band camp tomorrow. A thing she asked for (which about knocked me off my chair.) So, she’s still my girl and not some alien.
Isolated, though. And she’s not the only one.
Spawn is not isolated at this moment as she is on the beach with 100 of her closest friends and several insane adults. But, this morning when we dropped her off to catch the fancy bus to the beach with all these closest friends and insane adults, she hung out with her family. All of the other teens were clustered together with their peers. And all the other parents were clustered together with their peers. And the four of us antisocial folk hung out together. And, on the one hand, I’m cool with that because my kids aren’t embarrassed to be seen in public with their parents (although they should be because we crazy) and I’m going to miss the snot out of her (eventually) so it was great to have those last moments and extra hugs. But this is how it is with her too. Not exactly a part of a gang. Probably closer to the adults, in fact, than the kids. It worries me.
Then again, she’s not the only one either.
Because I’m hiding. I could have joined one of the parental chit chat groups this morning. I didn’t feel like it. In fact, I don’t really feel like associating with anyone right now. I think I’m ok hanging with kids. I like them.
Which is a good thing because my summer break is pretty much over. I start camps tomorrow. And that’s ok, because kids are easy.Anyhow. Connection to moths HERE.
And a really cool song HERE.
Comments (19)
sounds vaguely beatles refgerence clown to the left of me jokers to the right and i’d rather be stuck in the middle with you.
I think sometimes we need a break from expectations. It’s easier hanging out with adults (or, like, older than us adults) because they already know we’re dumb and they think it’s cute when we screw up.
@starmanjones - now that makes sense.
@lanney - i was thinking about expectations today. that’s another post.
your twelve year old is growing up with independence. If she is fond of nature, (wetlands and pool) I think she is going to be a very sensitive and beautiful young lady. How sweet that your older daughter hung out with you. That will make such a good memory for all of you.
i think Ian Anderson is a god. i just thought you should know that
oxooooooooooooooooooo
@ZSA_MD - thank you, Zakiah. it makes me feel less worried to hear you say that.
@Bels_Kaylar - i agree. was he in tull?
Doesn’t insane and antisocial go together??? Just saying.
@promisesunshine - dude. he IS Tull
the guy playing for flute, Pan, basically.
@Bels_Kaylar - are you serious. i’m such a dork. but you know what. i’m thinking of jon anderson. who is also a god. but perhaps a minor deity compared to ian. sheesh.
@Zoz36 - i stick my tongue out at you.
@promisesunshine - Don’t ya hate it when I make sense… Or what I call fuzzy logic. Heavy on the fuzzy.
If there had been a pool to go to when I was twelve, I would have gone alone. But we had a pool in the backyard, so I was usually in that with my little brother. Or myself. I’ve been kind of a loner for a long time. Don’t know if that means you shouldn’t worry.
That is a cool moth…quilt? Did you make it? I like the blues. And I’ve never heard this Jethro Tull song before. I like their flutes and acoustic-y guitar parts.
When I was 12 I loved roaming by myself… and now that I am older I see that not having a lot of friends was not a bad thing… there aren’t many good friends to have. I see that now, after raising 3 children of my own, that my way was better. I had no desire to get into trouble. If your children want to be close to family rather than all those bad influences out there, count yourself blessed. I see that the kids that were content with family, and cared less about friends, are those that came out best. I believe 2 or 3, even 1 or 2, good friends is all a person needs, or can hope for.
I was not better off once I achieved it. I was a better person before. It’s not possible to be a good friend to alot of people… you tend to take them for granted… to treat them like they’re kind of there for your use.
Popularity is over-rated.
12 year old…that’s tough age. Sounds like to me, that LLO’s fine…I see wanting independence, some space, and having a “do it myself” attitude means she’s growing up.
At 12 I was always looking for some alone time…I had too many siblings and too many neighborhood kids…all around being noisy and weird. Ha.
Hope band camp and the other camps go well! Enjoy them! The summer will probably fly by!
HUGS!!!
@leaflesstree - it’s a painting. i’d never heard the song before either, but i really like it. when you have kids, there’s the perpetual worry that you’ve ruined them. on the other hand, it is a good good thing to be able to make yourself happy. so all of us loners are a-ok.
@adamswomanback - summer is going to fly by. it always does. and it’s always way too busy.
@promisesunshine - you tempt me to write a parody on confusion.
@starmanjones - yield to temptation
okay, beats writing a whiny letter of questions I know the answers to.
HUGS from me to you on HUMP Day! And only hugs, because I don’t think of you in THAT way!
Hope your week started off well! 
@adamswomanback - hugs back. wowza. i’m hoping for a boring hump day. i’m all worn out from the start of the week.