May 3, 2013
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evolution
Interesting day.
But before I get into that, a fascinating update on the Purge. Perhaps I should call it the Great Purge. Or something. In any case. Yesterday I was up close and personal with my fire pit again. Made the decision that perhaps I needed to back away from the fire for a day or two. It seemed once or twice last night that something somewhat catastrophic was as likely to happen as not. Anyhow. What succumbed to the fire purge yesterday? Only an entire shelf full of papers that I haven’t looked at in 13 years. I figured that was a good indication that they weren’t necessary. So, yay.
Today’s purge was a box of wine. Not nearly so purposeful. I have to say I’m glad that wine doesn’t appear to give me headaches any more. This is a good thing. As I’m quite enamored of it lately. And that’s all you need to know about that.
So. Interesting. I’m trying really hard not to burn some cookies right now. One of our classroom volunteers is graduating from college this weekend. My job was cookies. Tough job. Anyhow. I mention her because she had a bit of a saga today complete with photos. Being the sap I am, I cried when I saw her photos. Her brother’s girlfriend or boyfriend’s sister or somebody’s something just had a baby yesterday. The baby was due in August. The sweet little angel weighs about a pound. She’s about the size of somebody’s hand. There she is. A tiny thing, red and perfect, yet so tiny. Covered in what looks like Saran Wrap. A tube down her throat. I’m crying again. Because what a miracle that she even made it this far. I know the odds are against this little precious girl. That the road for her is long. The road for her parents is long. I’m hoping for her. That the odds don’t matter. Her name is Neveah. Heaven backwards.
On the other side of the evolution spectrum. My brother. Who manages to just flip me off every time I talk to him. And it’s not like I’m looking to talk to him, I’m not. He called today and I couldn’t get out of talking to him. I did say I had died. But nobody believed me. Anyhow. He pushed the two buttons that he always pushes. The career choices button. He said that he hopes Spawn goes into a medical career instead of a teaching career. This plucks my second to last nerve for a lot of reasons, many of which are that I believe that children should be permitted to decide for themselves what career is best for them. Long story on that, which I don’t care to share, but it involves a lot of chemistry and calculus and really bad grades. Anyhow. The second button is the “when are you going to get a real job” button. He and my dad are going to bust if they don’t find out that I’m getting a full time job next year. Bust away, folks. I don’t know. I’m in the wait and see stage of my life right now. The universe will surely tell me when it feels like it. And I’m ok with that. Because I love my part-time job, and I love that I have free time now to do all kinds of stuff that I like to do. I’m lazy. I’m poor as dirt. Get the freak over it. However, aside from it being non of his damn business what I’m doing next year, there is the galling fact that the hosebag is a professional student. He’s been going to nursing school for about a decade now, is not finished, and has no freaking real job of his very own. Dude. Your house is so glass. And his house has been glass for a long time. I was a stay-at-home for a while when Spawn was little (I’ve done the best I can with that most of their lives, thank you very much, because it’s important and almost feasible for us) and my dear brother was in between jobs or something. In any case, he was living on unemployment. And this is when he chooses to start the litany of “when are you going to get a real job”. Hello. You’re not working. And I am. Just not outside my home. I mean seriously. Yes, of course, I should have evolved away from being pissed off by this. It’s been a long time. Clearly, he has the mental acuity of a gnat and the social skills of a dung beetle (oh tee hee. the dung beetle) and this isn’t going to change. But it pisses me right off. Five minutes with my brother and I go from zero to bitch.
But now I’m happy again. Because I’m not driving my car with my butt.
Comments (27)
What’s the old saying? You can pick your friends but not your family. Hang in there! I stayed home full time for a dozen years and look back on how we ever lived on one salary (a teacher’s no less). Poor but happy!
Let’s see: Part-time job and HAPPY or HIGH PAYING JOB and miserable… Sheesh, a no-brainer there.
O.M.G. I feel ya on the ‘real job’ button. My mother, for all her life, bitched at me to get ‘a real job’…never mind that I pay taxes…so Uncle Sugar thinks it is a real job…and I pay bills…with money I make given to me from people who are happy with what I do to their pets…so they think I have a real job, and the bills think I have a real job. What makes a job ‘real’ anyway? I guess that means you have to hate what you do…or something.
Aw. (I have tears in my eyes) I’ll pray for tiny Nevaeh! I hope she survives and thrives and lives a long, healthy, fun life!!!
Ha, on the dung beetle! They fascinate me!
You can pick your nose, but not your relative’s noses. Or, is it…you can pick your seat, but not your relative’s seat…wait…but you can pick your friend’s nose if they’re a good friend….wait…I’m confused.
I’m just sorry your brother’s causing you frustration and pushing your buttons.
Maybe you could have another family adopt him?! 
HUGS!!! Happy FryDay!!!
You’re welcome! 
PS…I’m not even gonna’ start with the butt innuendos!
I’m with you on the kids should pick their own careers thing. Because a medical career is not something you should get into if you don’t want to. You know, saving lives and all that, needs to be done right. I hate when people who don’t know me, what I’m good at or passionate about, try to give me advice. Because they think I’d like it. Or be good at it. No, wrong. Those are the family members I stay away from, too.
@adamswomanback - i knew you’d be all about that baby. thank you.
@moniet - why can’t people mind their own freaking business?
@Zoz36 - not sure that i’d be miserable with a “real” job. not sure it’d be high paying either. still in education, after all.
@GoneRetired - there are priorities in this life.
@leaflesstree - sometimes someone may see something you don’t. however, being pushy about it is never a good thing.
Do you often drive your car with your butt? That is an unusual skill. Possible employment opportunity.
What do you think underlies your brother’s pestering? He wants an additional source for leeching? Concern for your financial safety? Seems like it could go either way. I’m with you. I only care that my kid’s career choices make her happy.
I am sorry about your volunteer’s boyfriend’s sister’s baby. Such terrible pain, for everyone. I wish that sort of thing never happened.
glad you’re off the road after a fine purge
I’m not getting my “real job” part time or otherwise boo and the latest thing about my home is I’m somehow lesser for not having any sense of responsibility for it or ethic or skill or otherwise anything redeemable 
*you bet it annoys me but c’iest la vie. I can only do what I can. never mind the endless possibilities I must maketh them actualities and in the game life…well it’s not as simple as pulling the go here do this get that wow… its a bit more mecurial 
so I two am after the wine 
I can’t say I’m dirt poor I get quite a LOT of nice things rarely if ever starve at leasty out of lack of possibility I want what I want so budget it is! and wish me luck.
http://foodpreservation.about.com/od/Preserves/ss/How-To-Test-Jellies-For-The-Jell-Point-A-Step-By-Step-Guide.htm
that might help you as it may help me to do this jam business up right.
I’ll let ya know don’t count on pictures as I’m lazy 
but you COULD try your luck at conniving me out of a mini jar 
Not for sure why it would even matter to him. I don’t even know him and he ruffled a few of my feathers.
Stay true to you.
He can stick his head in doo-doo.
Sorry, my inner six year old is showing.
@WildWomanOfTheWest - omg. i love that. next time i have to speak to him and he starts in again (which he will. count on it), i will think that. it matters to him because he is a nosy, pig-headed butthead. he gives relationship and parenting advice too. yep, you guessed it. unmarried, without spawn.
@starmanjones - oh!! i totally need that gel test thing. i make a lot of drippy jam.
@promisesunshine - Let’s just hope he hooks up with some roller derby chick who can kick his ass every time he tries to offer her advise.
‘I’m lazy, I’m poor as dirt, get over it.’
I love that. if you are happy why shouldn’t people be happy for you.
As for your brother… talk about not being able to see the plank in your own eye as you try to remove a splinter from anothers….
Seems to me you have it together… priorities straight… peace with your life. What more could a person want? It’s not about what you have, it’s about how you live.
@promisesunshine - thought you’d like that
Tell him to go suck an egg. She is not his daughter, and he shouldn’t have to preach to you about what she needs to do. What does he do job-wise? Let him attend to his family.
@promisesunshine - Indeed. Also, it seems that often people are more likely to criticize others for faults they themselves have – more than the person they are criticizing. Seems like that’s what your brother’s doing.
Funny (not) how siblings know where all the buttons are and so telling that they seldom refrain from pressing them like an encyclopedia salesman laying on the doorbell!
Surely there is some advice from your brother that is great advice? Probably one out of a hundred things he says?
I wonder how he would react if you told him the majority of his comments to you are usually not welcomed?
Maybe you can force him only to offer written advice, maybe that would scare him away?
I wonder how Spawn feels about her uncle? Was he involved in her life or is luke warm about him also?
I too have been for a long while on part time work status. It is fun having long breaks at times and I certainly don’t spend as much if I had a full time job. I like being an economic, ecological and well balanced individual.
@ZSA_MD - he works part-time, goes to school (still, again, and perpetually), and lives with my parents. 49 years old. ain’t he a winner?
@leaflesstree - no faults whatsoever, just ask him.
@murisopsis - he asked me why i have to be such a jerk.
@PPhilip - he is tolerated at best.
If I rec someone’s comment I think that means that I agree with them and that I too think he should become a full-time egg sucker….
@vexations - there is no reason on earth for me to give a flying fuck what he says about anything. i can and will ignore his opinions. i’m too smart and stubborn to let him control my emotions this way. ha.
Good for you. @promisesunshine -
A friend of mine named his daughter Nevaeh. I think she’s nearly two now. I hope your friend’s baby is okay.
My family keeps harping on me to put my boy back in school, to burden someone else with my grandmother, for me to finish school and make something of myself. That I “used to have such big dreams, and I gave them up to get married.” Oh, no. I didn’t give up shit. I just realized that I didn’t want to go through years of school accruing a ton of debt to work in a job I may or may not even like. I’ll go back when I figure out exactly what I want to do. I don’t want to be miserable at my work like everyone else. Everything else is just unavoidable now. No one else is able to take care of my grandma, and I refuse to put her in a home just so I can pursue something that can obviously wait. My boy’s improved so much at home, I hate to undo all that work by throwing him back into the classroom with teachers and kids that don’t get him. Things are tight. Sometimes we need help. But we’re happy right now, and that’s all that matters.
Tell your brother to suck a stiff phallus. Or would Mr 10-Years-Of-Nursing-School even know what that is…?
I love this line, “Clearly, he has the mental acuity of a gnat and the social skills of a dung beetle.” You seem to see him clearly.
There are people like him in my life. I’ve gotten rid of all the ones I’m not related too.
I hope your vent helped you feel better we all need to grr and vent having either a doctor or a teacher, butcher or baker or even a candle stick maker would be nice to have in the family as long as your child is happy and well she is young she has time to change her mind a dozen times or more
I continue to pray for Nevaeh!
And I’m leaving some MoanDay hugs for you!
HUGS!!!
@adamswomanback - you are heavenly. hugs right back.