April 15, 2013
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blur
Just my opinion here, of no consequence to anyone but me.
I’m surprised by choices that parents make for their children. Myself included. A friend of mine got tickets for herself and her 2 younger daughters to see Hair and it turns out that only the youngest was available to go. So she asked me to do her the “favor” of taking her daughter and my youngest to see it. I knew just enough about it to debate it. For about 10 minutes. My friend is reserved and responsible and pretty much nothing like me and if she thought this show was appropriate for her 11 year old daughter then it seemed appropriate for my 12 year old daughter. The show was fabulous and I would see it again in a heartbeat. Probably wouldn’t take the kids with me (and I’m certain LLO wouldn’t go again anyhow
). The “brief” nudity was about 3 days long. And no, they were not wearing flesh colored underwear. The song “Sodomy” came up early on. I was hoping they would skip that one. LLO looked at me and I quickly said “Don’t ask.” I am so not going there. Ever. Anyhow a co-worker came up to me today joking about the kinds of shows I take the kids to. I was embarrassed thinking that she was judging me. But it was a very well done show and I’m not sure that I’d make a different choice.I was talking to another coworker about the kinds of games the 2nd graders in her class play. Shoot ‘em up games. Games they are really good at. Kids who have trouble sitting still and can’t work out disagreements with their classmates who are experienced in pretend killing. Scares the bejeebers out of me.
I was chatting with some other 2nd graders yesterday and one of them was all excited that he’d seen Hunger Games for the 7th time. That scares me too. Because LLO declined reading those books and seeing that movie because she thinks it’s scary. I agree. It is a scary movie. Scary concept. I loved the books and the movie, but I was more than glad to leave her at home when I took Spawn and her friend (who waited a month and a half to see it with us because she didn’t want to see it with anyone else.) Spawn and her friend were about 16 or 15 since I now can’t remember when this movie came out.
I think we’re taking the innocence away from our children too early. And when we, as adults who know the difference between reality and fantasy, expose children to violence and mature content we blur the line between acceptable and unacceptable. It scares me.
enjoy a preachy nonet poem for #npm 2
it may seem like a game or a movie
pretend, unreal, fantasy, fun
but what is it to a child
whose parents give consent
intentionally
or without care
right and wrong
the line
blurs
Comments (29)
You discuss a difficult issue here. When to expose children to what?
I don’t allow my kids to see sex or violence yet, but I’d rather they see infinite nudity before they see acts of murder and graphic violence. I’m glad you took them to the show.
@C_L_O_G - i know it’s hard to decide and sometimes the parents’ decisions don’t matter because other kids and other situations can be beyond our control. it just seems to me that we ought to make an effort. up until the last couple years, my kids didn’t watch anything by PBS. at home. but they went other places. sigh. and i’m glad that my daughter was shocked at the show. and i’m glad that my other daughter chose not to watch Braveheart this weekend. (an excellent movie, but so very violent). maybe i did something right and when they are out of my sight, they will make choices that are right for them. keep them young and innocent as long as you can.
@distractedbyzombies - it used to bother me that spawn was watching “murder she wrote” with her grandmother. your girl is really little yet and the boy is a different case entirely. i was pretty sure you’d agree on this. good daddy. have a cookie.
I was telling bear about my boo boo of programming when camp counselling playing my book on tape of a particularly grisly occurance or three in a book…war scene, the first orthamericans,book seven; people of the lightning k o and w.m gear and how it gave my poor camper a wicked nightmare…ooops… I have walked out on ONE movie in my lifetime…tootsie dustin hoffman… why? i didn’t think cross dressing in a not so pretend way was particularly cool at 7 in 1981 going to a ultra christian church….
@starmanjones - we make mistakes. we fix them as best we can. and i think walking out of a movie that you disagree with is perfectly acceptable. i’m too cheap to do that, movies costing an arm and a leg.
I so agree with you. I think of my grandchildren, pray for them, and try not to worry. I pray for their moms and dads too. Parenting is not an easy job.
@promisesunshine - I grew more tollerant later.I also left that faith deliberately too for what would be esoterically expressed as a percieved lack of love but remember I Ihad been bean in the head and had and still due eye damage from that softball game and could tell from 10 years of pariahness that I was becoming even more of not just a pariah but an outright enemy there.
you know enough of who I am to sense kinship between me and it’s main character.
as to mistakes lol you’d feel wretched too if the special needs fellow had a bad moment and it was entirely your fault… thatstill about my favorite book….beware itcanvivid be
n 4th grade at public school, I walked out of “Ernest Scared Stupid” because they were raising a troll or something that had been chained up and buried. That was definitely not Sunday-school-approved subject matter.
I think it’s important to not try to hide things like sex and death from children. Some people go way overboard, and I think it is best to keep communication open. That being said, there are definitely things they don’t need to see or to know all the details of. I was in college when I found out what Sodomy was, and in my opinion, that’s plenty young enough to have pictures you can’t get out of your head.
@starmanjones - ultra christians somehow seem to be the least tolerant. seems like it should be an oxymoron.
i’ve googled now. i thought it was just goats.
@ata_grandma - no, it isn’t. lots of things that go bump in the night.
@lanney - i’m not entirely sure which thing it is. i guess i have to google now. egads. yes, there can be overprotective too. but i’d rather see children be too innocent.
I think children are exposed to way too much. I think I was over protective of my kids in some ways, or maybe it was just that I was home with them and had more involvement with them than some of their friends had with their parents. I’m with Mark; I’d rather have them exposed to some nudity in a musical than to violence. Being a parent isn’t easy, you make the best choices you can.
Your daughter will always remember the play, and when she is older she will appreciate how good it was.
I think a lot depends on the kid in particular. Some kids can handle nudity/violence in a mature manner at a younger age than others. And some grownups never really learn how to deal with it. I always wondered about things like PG-13 ratings (and other age-requirements) because does the 13th birthday make one magically able to handle it? On the one hand, I get being protective, but on the other hand, I think it’s not good to shelter them from reality (although how much movies and such reflect ‘reality’ is debatable as well).
Anyway. All just theoretical intellectualism on my part, I don’t have kids.
@leaflesstree - i was looking for opinions. i’m glad you shared. i agree. the PG-13 rating is so much hoo hoo. and doesn’t it just mean you can’t see it without your parent unless you are over 13? which means a little kid could watch anything with the parent along and it’s perfectly acceptable to the movie theater. not that i want movie companies doing my parenting for me. i saw so many little kids at The Hobbit and it stunned me. maybe it wasn’t that violent, but i sure thought it was too violent for 5,6, 7 year olds. oh. and the kid who saw Hunger Games said his dad was going to let him watch Chuckie. for crying out loud, I’M too young for Chuckie. anyhow, still preaching. sorry.
@ZSA_MD - she and her friend got to go onstage at the end of the show to dance in the curtain call. she liked that a lot. and we did have an opportunity to talk about our opinions of war. it really was an incredible production.
@songoftheheart - there are times when spawn comes home after talking to one of her friends or spending time at a friend’s house and she just hugs me. it’s hard thinking about how she flies the coop in two years. but i’m preaching to the choir on that.
@promisesunshine - let me not try to bash.
I was shocked when I heard my 5th and 6th graders were playing Grand Theft Auto games.
@promisesunshine - Isn’t there a verse along the lines of bring up a child in the way they should go and they will not depart from it? Something along those lines I believe.
Yes, I agree on that. Sam (the youngest at 12, almost 13)goes to spend the night with friends. They play those awful video games. UGH He doesn’t spend the night nearly as much anymore.
@godfatherofgreenbay - it’s just a game. but it doesn’t feel right, does it? i thought you taught high school.
@C_L_O_G - that’s a nice thought but not a guarantee even if the parent were perfect- which is impossible.
@winniezpoo - sigh
being a parent is tuff stuff…what ever happened to the Wonderful World of Disney.
LOL, wow, you’re sooooo bad! LOL
I would not have taken my son to see either “Hair” or “Hunger Games”, before he was 12. (He’s almost 25 now, so it’s sort of a moot point-but I had to weigh in.)
@RighteousBruin - and i’m glad you did. i have to say, i feel a little better since my kid is 12. and i’m pretty sure the stuff that made me blush went over her head.
@mlbncsga - we got real. did you know Walt Disney’s dad wouldn’t let him play?
@olwd - this is not news.
When and where does the game stop?
Can evil impulses be hindered or stunted?
A movie projects things into the mind,
And is very hard to get rid of or covered up.
So walk away from that particular game,
unfortunately another will come along.
Walk out of that particular show
the money you spent could be refunded in some cases!
Too bad some memories are hard to forget,
which makes lessons easier to learn.
@promisesunshine – Well it is news to me. Are you telling me it shouldn’t be?
They grow up fast enough in my opinion. It used to be 5th grade was my favorite age but not now… 5th graders talking about having sex is just wrong. Anyway I love your nonet!!
When it comes to my daughter to this day the only thing that spooks here is clowns. I was always the one that would not watch certain movies because to this day if I want to watch a spook show Shannon will sit and hold my hand…I know crazy right it has been like this for I bet 30 years…
I am the one that doesn’t watch real sexy stuff and she has always been the same way LOL she says sex in movies is like a commercial it give you time to go potty and grad a soda before the movie starts
@murisopsis - my girls are very young for their ages and i’m glad about that.
@SisterMae - clowns and sex. good to know. just teasing, sorry. i know several people who are scared of clowns. it makes sense, they are so very fake. and have big feet.
@promisesunshine - You’re right. A lot of things other than the parents influence how a person grows and changes.