March 21, 2013

• for the people?

  #wintsh21. Take a poem you have previously written and revise it by putting the images in reverse to see how it changes the poem. (Cheater pants prompt for a busy week.)

  For the People?

  The decision rests solely in the heart of a furry creature
  For whom mercy may not even be a consideration.
  The moon faces the day, intent on his own concerns.
  The god eyes in the mountain look upon the scene:
  An observer only
  The predator ponders:
  Is it mercy or control that motivates his plan
  The lamb silently waits-
  Carefree and ambivalent
  Drugged and impotent

  This is the original version:

  For the people

  The lamb silently waits-
  Drugged and impotent,
  Carefree and ambivalent-
  As the predator ponders.
  Is he beast or man?
  Is it mercy or control
  That motivates his plan?
  The god eyes in the mountain look
  Upon the scene -
  An observer only.
  The moon faces the day
  Intent on his own concerns.
  The decision rests solely
  In the heart of a furry creature
  For whom mercy may not
  Even be a consideration.

   

  Even though I kept the same words and only changed the order, I think it does change the poem.  What do you think?  I think it makes the lamb seem far more foolish and the minotaur more manipulative.  I can’t decide which version I prefer.

  Based on this @aloysius son work “minotaur and lamb”

  

  • 10:20 pm
  • 19 Comments