March 13, 2013

• how to eat glass

  It is quite simple, really.

  You choose the glass that seems most palatable.  It can be a dirty window pane- the only thing between you and another cold, winter day. A patterned jelly jar emptied of all its sweetness.  A thick Coke bottle from a special date long ago.  The protection over your favorite photo, no longer doing its job.  A mirror that shows what you feel instead of what others may see. 

  Then you throw that glass onto the ground.  Throw it hard, otherwise it may not break.  It also helps to say certain words that aid in the breaking of many things.  Loudly.  Once the glass is in manageable pieces, you are then able to stomp and crush it with your shoes.  Do not be delicate.  This is not a job for delicacy.  This is a job of crunching, mashing, scratching, pulverizing.  The smallest bits are the most delicious.

  Once you are satisfied that your glass is of the perfect consistency, carefully sweep it up.  You don’t want to damage your meal.  Place the glass on a beautiful plate and garnish as you choose.  I prefer a sprig of annoyance, a clove of anger, a spray of venom.  A dash of “how could you do this to me” to add flavor.

  Spoon it in.  Dinner is served.

  #winsh 8. Write a story entitled “How to Eat Glass.”

  

  It says “cranky”.  LLO reminded me last night at 10:30 that she had to make cookies for Spanish class.  Miffed, I was.  But the cookie dough was pretty easy to do and put in the fridge for morning baking.  She decided that she would set an alarm to get up at 6 to finish the job.  I was mildly stunned that she was going to set an alarm.  I woke up this morning as the world’s smallest ferret was trying to chew my finger while I waited for some pokey kid to clean an aquarium.  And that was annoying.  Then I see all the lights on in the house.  This seemed an odd thing.  So I went looking.  Sort of.  Wasn’t wearing my glasses and I’m pretty darn blind and not real lucid in the first place.  Found the culprit.  LLO in full ‘tude, who greeted her beloved mother with “I’ve been waiting a long time for you to wake up.”  Cookie slicing, baking, sprinkling with powdered sugar ensued.  LLO seems to be trained in using the timer, which was helpful.  Since I’m not and I’m notorious for burning cookies as I find exciting things to do in between batches.  Then I had to do the driving duty.  LLO managed to miss the bus and Spawn always wants a ride.  And the schools are not close to each other and the timing is just the way it needs to be to maximize driving duty.  I didn’t get my usual slow wakey wakey with two cups of joe and social networking.  So when it was time to make my necklace of mood for the day, it was obvious.  Cranky all the way.

  In fact, it was cranky all the way. I was short-tempered with the kids.  One of my friends at work, who doesn’t like my necklace project and I really couldn’t tell you why, was disdainful of today’s.  I was quite tempted to say “bite me.”  The things that happen all the time were unacceptable today.  The words I repeat ad nauseum were just too much effort today.  Children spilling milk was a capital offense.  Or capitol. Whichever.  And when I got triple cherry yogurt instead of banana strawberry with my lunch, I was done.

  When I got home from work, I ripped that thing off.  Because it appears that focusing on a mood that is negative is bound to perpetuate that negativity.  Imagine that.  The next question is, if I make a sign for the mood I want, will I get it.

  Albatross.  You know.

   

  • 10:03 pm
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