December 20, 2012

• A Different Tale of Magi

  Disclaimer:  the lovely, naughty, hilarious applewoman (who is gone from Xanga far too long, just saying) wrote this lovely, naughty, hilarious tale and suggested that I share it.   How can I say “no, it’s too naughty for me”? Remember though- I had nothing to do with it.  Zero. Zilch. Nada.

  Warning:  I said it was a little naughty.

  Another warning: I mean it.

  Last disclaimer: I’m innocent.  Completely. 

   

  The Magi-rls: 3 Wise Women Visit KingEd

   

  The tale is told that very early on a cold winter’s morning, 3 wise women from the East began a journey through Xanga-Land to find KingEd and The Love Emporium.

   No…“wise women” is NOT an oxymoron! And, well, yes…The Magi-rls are really wise-ass women, but for the sake of this story we’ll just call them “wise”. Anyways, the 3 wise women from the East traveled West, then headed North. And, being women, they wisely used the GPS on their camels. If they’d not had the GPS they’d of stopped at Gas Rite and asked for directions.

   

  The 3 wise women couldn’t wait to arrive at The Love Emporium and give it to KingEd!!! Er…I mean…they couldn’t wait to give him the gifts they were bearing. And, being women, their gifts were practical…gifts they knew KingEd needed and would like.

   

  Their “Magi-rls Gone Wild” journey was one of fun, frivolity, and friskiness!!!

   

  And, being women, they arrived at KingEd’s Love Emporium on time.

   

  Immediately, upon arrival, the 3 wise women knelt in front of KingEd. It appeared there was some competition over who would get to “greet” KingEd first. Agreeing on “age before beauty”, BalthCarolyn released KingEd’s love-scepter and blew it better than Satchmo blew the trumpet! Then CaspJo and MelCarrie took turns “greeting” KingEd!!!

   

  The 3 wise women were not surprised that KingEd’s love-scepter cast a longshadow!!!

   

  (Being the wisest of the 3 wise women, CaspJo eye-balled KingEd’s love-scepter royally and revealed that it is 618 inches!!!)

   

  At this point, KingEd appeared to be a bit drained, so while he rested upon his royal bed, the 3 wise women tatt-ed his body…back, front and sides. Then they fixed him enchiladas, pinto beans, and margaritas for lunch.

   

  After KingEd ate the 3 wise women…er…I mean…ate the food the 3 wise women had prepared, he then ate the 3 wise women. Oh, God!!! The 3 wise women had been waiting for this for like forever!!!

   

  At this point, KingEd was wondering if the 3 wise women showing up at The Love Emporium was a good thing…’cause, Damn!, they were wearing him out!!!

   

  Seeing that KingEd needed a break, the 3 wise women decided this would be a good time to give him the gifts they’d bore all the way from the East.

   

  CaspJo presented KingEd with a years supply of whipped cream and a ping-pong paddle.

   

  MelCarrie presented KingEd with a years supply of condoms.

   

  BalthCarolyn presented KingEd with a years supply of K-Y Jelly.

   

  After taking turns “knowing” KingEd…all night long and past noon the next day…the 3 wise women finally let KingEd go to sleep. While he slept and snored, the 3 wise women cleaned The Love Emporium, and made casseroles to put in his freezer.

   

  When KingEd awoke from a long winter’s nap…er…wait…that’s a whole other story…

   

  When KingEd woke up, the 3 wise women took turns saying “good-bye” to him…and by good-bye, I mean blew his love-scepter one more time.

   

  Mounting KingEd…er…uh…um…Mounting their camels, the 3 wise women headed on their way.

   

  I hear they’ll be stopping CA…OK…TN…

   

  And there is no The End to this tale…The 3 wise women are not stopping until they’ve spread their “joy” throughout Xanga-Land!!!

   

  ©TheMagi-rls. CS.12.20.2012

  • 2:48 pm
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