July 22, 2012
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cat lessons
Here’s the problem with the world. I’m using world, you can replace with country, state, playground, backyard.
My house is well populated with cats. They come to us through no fault of mine. (Ha. That’s not true. But still.) We have one big, stupid, nasty boy cat. He’s a bully. He’s also pretty and soft and can be really sweet. But most of the time he has the brain power of a turnip and the personality of a . well never mind. He just now wanted to go outside. He tried to wake up spouseman, but that appears to be impossible today. I agree. Spouseman is somewhat more motivated to let him out faster, what with how Trouble (that’s the cat’s name) prefers to bite than use his words. I don’t play that particular game. The last thing I’m going to do if you chew on my leg, cat, is let you out. Anyhow. I digress (which is what’s going to happen since I haven’t had any coffee yet today).
Using my keen spidey sense, I got the idea that stupid wanted to go outside. I’m very well-trained, after having waiting eons for him to go out the front door on numerous occasions, I’ve got it through my fuzzy, human head that he’s a back door cat. So to the back door I go, following this big, stupid, mean cat. I let him out as is my sworn duty. He saunters out there, plops his butt down 2 feet from the door and surveys his domain.
Well, Pandora wants a little outside time too. She sees me heading to the door and using her superior girl cat brain power comes along. She must wait until Trouble has exited the building. She’s young, she didn’t really want to let the master go first, but she bowed to his wishes in that regard. Well, he is not satisfied. He doesn’t want her to come out at all. It is HIS land. He makes the decisions.
It’s a big backyard (from a cat perspective.) There is no reason that they can’t both come out the back door to explore.
Boys and girls. How about we share. It’s a big world out there. Plenty of room for everyone.
Comments (70)
Don’t try to impose your liberal humanoid ideas on the feline world.
@Roadkill_Spatula - i sure hope that was supposed to be funny. because i’m laughing so hard my family is rolling their eyes. (and now they are laughing too.)
Bishop is our male er was til he had to have a life saving surgical proceedure which left him genderless, still he posses the superior male brain
. Maxiana is our female. Her ‘puting power is slower and less advanced than his. Bishop is strong willed, loving and rather docile, but stubborn at times and a large cat, 18 lbs large, sleek, long and lean, and strong. Maxi has her claws. (Bishop does not). They have learned when and where who is boss (mostly Bishop).
Bishop rarely is outwardly mean, instead he uses guile and cunning to manipulate Miss Maxi, but if that doesn’t work, he just pushes her around, like a toddler pushing away a plate full of yuckies. After morning coffee it is all really very entertaining.
The man in charge. Those were the days.
Obviously your pathetic human brain doesn’t understand the intricacies of Cat politics.
@PrisonerxOfxLove - and then we evolved to let the wiser gender prevail.
@Aloysius_son - all cats have their own personality for sure. liked hearing about your masters. Trouble bumped into too many walls, knocked out a couple brain cells. Diminished brain capacity with an elitest attitude is somewhat dangerous for the little people.
@leaflesstree - this is so true.
@promisesunshine - Let me quote Chester Riley from, “The Life of Riley,”
“What a revolting development!”
@PrisonerxOfxLove - what we need is a woman in the white house. and i don’t mean a bimbo or a psychobitch.
@promisesunshine - I’m so glad you’re ruling out Hillary.
@PrisonerxOfxLove - OH MY GOSH!! we agree on something. was that accidental?
never place mere human qualities/thoughts/emotions etc. to cats. you will never win. all my cats are strictly indoor cats
@buddy71 - well, i wanted mine to be indoor too. see what that got me. i do realize that cats are more evolved than humans.
Electing Hillary wouldn’t actually put a woman in the White House. It would put in a eunuch who overcompensates for its lack of a pecker. Might as well elect Mitt Romney if that’s what we want!
@HappierHeathen - whew doggy. that was a good one.
i definitely think we should keep dicks out of government.
@promisesunshine - Bishop is not my master.
@Aloysius_son - Ahem!
@Aloysius_son - of course not.
@IAmBishop - finally. the right kind of subscriber.
@IAmBishop - Uh, I er… “Who wants some um-ums?”
@Aloysius_son - there. there. it’s ok. we all forget our place sometimes.
@promisesunshine - If we got all the dicks out of government there’d be only a few dozen people left to run the whole country! Ya gotta be dickish to some extent to believe you’re qualified to tell other people how to live.
@Roadkill_Spatula - ah, that made me laugh!!!! @promisesunshine - Pandora only wanted to go outside because she knew Trouble would find it galling.
@HappierHeathen -i vote for smaller dicks in washington.
@ordinarybutloud - which proves how much smarter she is than him.
@HappierHeathen - well said.
@promisesunshine - it’s a little (early, hot, humid, sooner after cutting the grass) for political philosophy.
(cute story)
Cat fights are normal. We had a big blue eyed Siamese cat that bit one of our church friends and then killed an injured bird that my son had rescued.
There is a pecking order in live–and your Bully Boy Cat is number one. lol
Boys and girls are getting along. I think the world’s population is in the billions now and growing despite, war, famine, earthquakes, volcano eruptions, horrible weather, drought, etc. Even when they show very hungry people around the world, they are surrounded by small starving babies.
Good luck
frank
Cats are dumb. Dogs rule. GO DOGS! WoOF.
Now haven”t you learned yet, it is not your world, it is theirs. They have us trained. We do not train them. They own us and allow us to live in their home.
Ali has worked hard to get me to see this truth:):)
Nice illustration.
You do tell good stories…
LOL, your cat has YOU well trained. I love it.
Cats have a rich vocabulary. They say Meow when they’re hungry and Meow when they want to go out. And we always know what they mean. How do they do that?
@Roadkill_Spatula – haha
Hahaha.
“spouseman”.
Enjoyed this entry thoroughly
Sautee lightly in red wine.
Just a thought.
Ha! you (& yr cats) are phunny! your fans are pretty phunny, too
thank you for laugh, everyone!
What a coincidence… I have a cat named Trouble, too. Only he isn’t mean… he’s just trouble. Everything he can do wrong, he does. Playing with things he shouldn’t play with, trying to eat things that don’t belong in his mouth, running into rooms he’s not allowed in, knocking over everything with his exceptionally long tail… etc., etc. But he’s cute. So we tolerate it. Lmao. He’s also one of the sweetest, most loving cats I’ve ever owned. And that’s saying something, seeing as we have 23 of them. (indoor only) And we have at least 6 that have passed on.
We’re fortunate enough not to have an “alpha male” in our little group. But we have one bitchy female whos name, ironic as it is, is Huni. We’ve taken to calling her “the evil cat” or “bitch cat”. Your Trouble seems to behave just like her. She can be very nice, almost motherly, toward the other cats, but then sometimes she’ll just attack for no reason. I dislike her. And it’s very hard to get me to dislike a cat.
xX Ame ~*~ Hana Xx
I had Bacchus. He was like a little tiger, striped and long and so handsome. I think he ruled here until he was gone.
I was laughing myself off. So funny.
@distractedbyzombies - and now you’ve reminded me that the grass isn’t going to cut itself.
@ANVRSADDAY - oh he certainly is number 1. i’m pretty much number 8. but i laugh the most. i was not referring to conjugal getting along.
@IntoTheWind1 - dogs drool. just saying.
@Grannys_Place - i’m very well aware that i’m staff.
@KnightInCROATIANarmor@YouToMe - - thanks.
@songoftheheart - you’re the best.
@vexations - i don’t like to be eaten.
@we_deny_everything - it’s a complicated language. but i did learn it.
@Bricker59 - mmm tasty.
@Bels_Kaylar - it’s been an amusing weekend
@Broken_Black_Moon - cats have as much personality as humans.
@ZSA_MD - how sad to lose your master
@angys_coco - so glad you laughed. it’s been a funny day.
@promisesunshine - Absolutely! I know that first hand! =]
xX Ame ~*~ Hana Xx
freaking liberal. get real.
@plantinthewindow - what?
@promisesunshine - re: Tim’s comment. ha.
@plantinthewindow - of course. silly me.
The comments are funnier than the post!
Love cats…cute!
My parrot is a boomerang. We sold him friday the 13th and after a week he is back.
I wonder if there is a parrot whisperer and could teach him to not squawk when he is left by himself?
Yes on animal Planet network they have a show about problem cats. Too bad your story just doesn’t compare to the horror stories they present, however it made me smile and say, “Well Hillary doesn’t want the Job, she’d rather be a grandmother.”
@lovelightwellness - yes, this was rather entertaining. some amusing people came out to play today.
@PPhilip - possibly the most amusing comment today. why don’t you just explain to the parrot what’s gonna happen if he keeps squawking and annoying the neighbors? the cat drama made me smile too. hillary will be an excellent grandmother.
@promisesunshine - and hey! congrats on making top blog today
@Bels_Kaylar - isn’t that so exciting?
where is your hand? i like that thing.
@promisesunshine - <3
@Bels_Kaylar - wow. i never get people to do what i ask. this has been SUCH a good day.
Aye yo, it sound like you is one of those ‘Cat Ladies’ they gotta call Animal Control on.
@Mockdonimus_Tuntsweet - why yes. more than one or two felines in the domicile. quite a name you have there, sir.
@promisesunshine - My last name is made up cuz in Mary Poppins they got them Toot Sweets?? Anyway Mockdonimus my real first name but you can call me Mock-D LOL.
But I wasn’t trippin girl I love cats, them lil niggaz is like constant sources of amusement.
@Mockdonimus_Tuntsweet - dude. NOT mary poppins!! that is so very chitty chitty bang bang.
and i’m uncomfortable with that word that ends in z. i’d appreciate it if you ditched it. thanks.
@promisesunshine - Aye lil mama, you is just gonna have to deal with a nigga alias, I can’t just change my whole Xang-dentity cuz you ain’t like the letter ‘z’ or some shit.
But why we talkin about this when we should be talkin bout how sexy you is?
@Mockdonimus_Tuntsweet - you got a thing for feet?
Not just “a” thing, but several tings.
Get ya VanGogh designer Crocs off and show some toes to a nigga.
Oww what a strange cat. We can all share!
@Mockdonimus_Tuntsweet - my fugly feet are featured here. http://promisesunshine.xanga.com/765770160/what-i-have-to-say-about-art/?=itemrelated i’m not sure why i’m still talking to you. but i do know party time is over for now. good night.
@promisesunshine - ^^^Aye you is right, ya feet need to be kept by behind at least 12 layers of Croc at all times–LOL
-Big Mock-
@Mockdonimus_Tuntsweet - you are such a charmer.
I’m simply going to say AMEN to what @Roadkill_Spatula - posted… SO very true…
No matter the size of the yard… only one cat can be in it at any given point of time. TRUTH!!!
You should post a picture of Trouble. Now I really want to see him. Pandora too!
We had a cat once – his name was dammit and he would spray things and we thought there was a skunk hiding under the house
@mlbncsga - yes. trouble has that trouble as well. makes me crazy.
Just dropped by to say Hi I guess my glasses are sort of nerdy too oh well at least I can see
@SisterMae - hi there. thanks, i’ll be right over. i can read the phone book again. it is sweet.