May 13, 2012
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churchification
Today was a melodramatic free-for-all at church. We sang all the sad, sappy hymns about time passing as we watched the confirmation class join the church. The class of 9th graders- all kids spawn knows well as it’s her class- but not my girl. She didn’t participate in confirmation this year. She lost Jesus again. He was an important part of our lives for about a week or two after her mission trip to Pittsburgh in March, but he exited the building pretty soon afterward. I accepted her decision not to do confirmation. I do believe in choice. I know that may seem contradictory to a lot of the things I say, but on some things I don’t believe in pushing. Spouseman had churchification jammed down his throat when he was a kid, and we have an understanding. If the kids have something going on at church, he is there because he’s a great dad, but other than that it’s a food and coffee hour kind of place for him. I’ve always been ok with that. Because I believe in choice and there’s nothing I can do about it anyhow.
Most of these kids I’ve known for a long time. I taught Sunday School for spawn’s class from age 3 to 1st grade. I was with them in the midweek program from 1st grade to 5th grade. I remember them. I don’t remember when they got so tall. I don’t remember when the little boys became giants with deep voices. I don’t remember when the girls bloomed into beautiful young women. But I remember them when they were little. I remember that talented young lady who played a sax solo today when she was just learning the sax. I remember that stringbean boy who played the electric guitar to accompany her back when he wore his hair in his eyes and said “cheese” in answer to every serious question in 3rd grade. I remember that kinda short kid with the serious eyes when he freaked out after I said something mildly inappropriate in 1st grade SS. (I think it might have been “crap”- somehow I can’t remember that now.) Those young people stood up in front of everyone today and made a promise, took one gigantic step closer to adulthood. It touched me.
Today was also the day the 2nd grade Sunday School class received their big kid Bibles in church. This is a big deal to me because this is my class. It’s my favorite Sunday. The kiddos are pretty excited to get their own Bible and nervous to stand in front of everyone and wound up and just glowing with pride about the whole thing. It’s adorable. This is my fourth year of teaching 2nd grade (since LLO was in the class). Even though the kids can be pretty obnoxious most of the year, I keep coming back for more because of those 10 special minutes. So I sniffed some today and that’s that.
Here’s the thing I need to know. When exactly did I become this person who does the same thing year after year measuring the passage of time by the height of the people I know? And why does it make me somewhat sad, but not ever bored?
Incidentally, the music group (with the aforementioned sax and electric guitar) also had cello, acoustic guitar and banjo of all things. How wild is that?
Comments (28)
Your Spouseman sounds somewhat similar to my dad, sort of. My step-grandfather was raised in a household run by a fire and brimstone preacher, so when he grew up he swore his kids wouldn’t have to deal with any religious stuff, ever. So my dad went through none of that churchification whatsoever. Then went on to marry Mom, who’s a somewhat serious Catholic. Had a church wedding and everything. Mom never tried to get him to convert (that I know of), and he only went to church for things like weddings and communions. My siblings and I went through all the rituals and stuff and then went on to not really be involved in church stuff at all. But my mom’s not the nagging type so it all works out cool. To each his own, as she says frequently.
Anyway. banjo, cello, sax, and electric guitar sounds pretty damn awesome, even for church music. Although some church music is pretty awesome on its own, provided you’re not listening to the church choir I grew up with, which always sounds as though it is about to fall asleep mid-song.
Congratulations to your Confirmands!
I love Confirmation Sunday. To see them make that promise is pretty touching. I remember my Confirmation pretty well. It was a big step in my faith, and since I still know most of my large class, it’s still great to have them with me.
I did my time in Church. I learned the word hypocrisy through the Church. But I did meet my first girlfriend via Church.
It is very wise of you to give your daughter the freedom to form her own relationship with God. He has made each of us unique, and He loves that uniqueness. Some leave the Garden for a while, and come back as towers of strength. Others stay, but squirm and wiggle, then “shock” everyone by leaving the Garden, seemingly on a whim.
You are committed to the “sameness” because it fills your identity cup, and lends a sense of security.
@Zoz36 - this is why i hang with the little people. i don’t have to see what i don’t want to see.
@RighteousBruin - i went for the social aspect when i was a kid. then fell away from it for a long while. it wasn’t until i started teaching sunday school that i got any real meaning from church. it’s a lot more important to me that my daughters live well than that they go to church.
i think you must be right. there was a time when i was getting more sustenance in sunday school than the kids were.
@Cestovatelka - i cry at baptisms too.
@leaflesstree - i love our church music. music director is amazing and there is tons of talent (freaking enormous church). our asst pastor almost went to nashville. i LOVE it when he sings for a sermon.
A very wise move on your part! Religion is best allowed to develop at its own pace and no amount of forcing will make it popular or comfortable…
loved hearing all about what your days have been like at school and church. we talk a lot, but really never get the whole gist of all this.. glad you wrote about it. the banjo thing is pretty freakin’ cool.
@be_the_rain - good grief. you want more details? you poor thing.
@murisopsis - sometimes i can be wise. a little. occasionally.
is this a pentecostal church?
I didn’t know you went so regularly, or that you taught sunday school.
I think what you have developed is a beautiful, caring heart:)
all great stuff. see, you ARE a better person than me, all the way around. so stop saying otherwise. beautiful. you rock.
@plantinthewindow - definitely not pentecostal. can we still be friends? it’s ok anyhow. only one more week of ss. then i go heathen for the summer.
@Grannys_Place - thank you.
@ordinarybutloud - oh, hell no.
@promisesunshine - heathen for the summer HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Part-time heathen… Just like a school teacher. Off for the Summer…
@Zoz36 - i do everything part-time.
I am too tired for meaningful commentary, but I read and enjoyed your post.
But a full-time mom. And a full-time funny lady (Take it as a compliment or do I have duck at flying objects aimed at me???)
I like your matching shoes! Your church sounds familiar.
@distractedbyzombies - you came through where it mattered. thanks.
@Zoz36 - ok ok.
@Donkey_Guy_10 - your face is moving. going to check out where you live in utter panic.
No need to panic! Even if you did go to the church I go to! Although you DO have cute shoes! LOL!
@Donkey_Guy_10 - whew. across the country.
Here’s the thing I need to know. When exactly did I become this person who does the same thing year after year measuring the passage of time by the height of the people I know?
(I suspect that you rarely do the “same” thing year after year. Perhaps you are doing it differently but in the same place year after year.
And why does it make me somewhat sad, but not ever bored? (There is a wisdom to acknowledging the sadness within us and around us. It shows you are paying attention. I contend is one pays attention one seldom if ever becomes bored.)
We had a baptism in church today and I was right next to the ceremony. Fantastic. We also had a young man who is graduating and going off to college tell the congregation that his goal is to one day own his own brewery. The pastor said “It doesn’t get any better than that,” I broke up.
@vexations - that made me smile. brewery.
i love baptisms too. make me cry. (but honestly what doesn’t)
you are absolutely right, as so often happens. it impossible to do exactly the same thing when there are people involved. we aren’t cookie cutters. thank goodness. i’m not even the same person from day to day.
have a wonderful day. it’s raining. but that’s ok too.
we had confirmation last weekend at my church, it’s always interesting to see how many of those kids come back to church the next week. There was only one who returned and for some of those kids not even their families came back.
@godfatherofgreenbay - that is so ridiculous.
dogs love bopping around to gospel music. I’m like frank, I like a happy church but I’m unlike frank, I don’t go to church.
I sort of had it both ways. lol We were ‘released’ from public school on Friday afternoons for religious education—Protestant and Catholic. I told my dad they were trying to make me believe wrongly. He then refused to sign the release from, so i was the only student in class on Friday afternoons and the teacher stuck with me was not happy. My day died when I was 13, so I just wanted to go to a church he liked. Then when I was 30, I was born again and going to church was fun. However!!!!!!, I made my 3 kids go to church every time the doors were open. lol That is just the way it was. They all still believe in God and go to church—some more than others. lol I think it is wise of you to let your daughter ‘join’ when she is ready. This ‘stuff” cannot be forced. Good job, Frank