April 19, 2012
-
chewy
Drama in paradise. i’m telling you. Well, I’m not actually telling you, because I don’t want to talk about it. But we’ll cut to the point of the story where I had a rational discussion with Littleloudone, and we made a bribery list. The things on this list are actually pretty darn funny. One of the rewards she wanted was a clean house. So we set it up that if we clean the house, we have a clean house. Which I think is amusing for so many reasons. Mostly that it’s not going to happen. I do appreciate the idea that she actually recognizes the concept “clean” and that it’s going to require group effort to get to clean. Or not. In this case. The other bribes are pretty amusing too. She’s 11, so you’d imagine bribery would require some expenditure of bucks. Not so much. One of the bribes she wants (and I hope she wants it a lot, because this item up for bid is the one that sent rational discussion out the window yesterday-reverberating and filled with all the best language), is a family movie. All 4 of us in the room at the same time watching the same movie. This is something she asks for a lot. Also something that is not going to happen this week, but can next weekend. And the best bribery of all. The one that cracks me up. If she does her best writing for the state writing assessment today, she gets turkey jerky. Behold the power of dehydrated meat.
jerky spicy dried meat addictively yummy chewier than food ought to be eat meanother foody cinquain. it’s what i got. npm. bluemooncat enormous thing 11. poem about meat
Comments (41)
Impressive! When my girls were that age they wanted a cell phone, credit card and no questions asked! You must be doing something right.
gets em everytime
how wonderful that one thing she wants so very much is just for everyone to sit down and watch a movie together. that’s very neat.
turkey jerky I have not yet tried.
gooten poemen.
The telling factor here is the desire for a family movie.
Do not take this lightly. She’s sending you a strong message.
why do I always read your poems and have food cravings
I love these bribes! There are those that consider bacon to be “meat candy” but they are sooo wrong. Jerky of any type is true meat candy! hehe! Nice little cinquain!
@murisopsis - meat candy. that’s perfect.
@godfatherofgreenbay - i do not write all my poetry about food. just saying.
@Bricker59 - i’m well aware of the message she is sending me.
@plantinthewindow - yup. it is neat. hurts awful much that it’s so hard to arrange such a simple thing.
@roscoes_farm - she earned her jerky today. let’s see what else she earns.
@BoulderChristina - she has asked for a cell phone (and was declined) and i think that was only because her best friend has one.
It’s good to know that you can negotiate and bribe with the best of them.
@songoftheheart - how else would i get through my day?
lolol….eat me. you crazy thang. <3
She seems like an awesome kid. I hope you guys get to spend a lot more time together.
@lanney - any kid who gets us more jerky is good to have around.
12 days. count ‘em.
@promisesunshine - 12 days of turkey jerky?
@lanney - heck no. it’ll be gone before the weekend. 12 days left in my semester. then i reintroduce myself to family and friends.
@promisesunshine - Ah, I see. Sounds good.
She’s hilarious. :p It’s so awesome that she wants a clean house as a reward. So awesome.
@onestepcloserto_perfection - you know of course that she just wants me to do a better job of cleaning up after them, right? and they are pigs. i tell you, pigs. it does a mama’s heart good to know that she cares though. that being news and all. she is hilarious.
oh man. I really want jerky now. that is the best poem ever. if it was on a t shirt, I’d buy it.
I would.
Most of those bribes (you know, most of all three you told us about) are actually pretty sweet. She _is_ your sunshine, after all.
My publisher pays me in turkey jerky.
@doahsdeer - oh my god!! finally the motivation i need to get published!! (that was hilarious)
@promisesunshine - Shouldn’t she have to help you clean the house for her to have the reward of a clean house? JEEZ!
@onestepcloserto_perfection - she prefers a supervisory role. now that you mention it, they came through for the mass clean-up for the easter guests. ponder. ponder.
She has to be a great kid if she wants to sit down with the entire family and watch a movie. You did right by her it seems!
@ZSA_MD - unfortunately she has a heck of a temper and a prize-winning vocabulary. (neither of which she got from her mother. snort.) but. a wonderful child. i got a huge hug after school today.
this little girl is such a well organized child ! she must be a joy to be around…..
@locomotiv - organized?? i must spin a good yarn. she may have her moments where she is a joy, but she is hardly ever organized.
Ah Beef Jerky… Just purchased some beef jerky and beef sticks. Now where did I put that Mounain Dew and pack of Twizzlers…
@Zoz36 - breakfast of champions. except for the dew.
Well, what is most interesting is that two of the three rewards are intrinsic and WHAT KIDS NEED. Now if parents would realize that turkey jerky will only get you so far. PS You and your littleloudone are so charming. second PS I heard about that flare up at work, hey, it happens.
@vexations - you have spies everywhere. turkey jerky will only get me so far. very true. but some days, it’s harder to get anywhere at all. in other news, it’s amazing what a conversation does for moral, though. she’s a different kid for the past two days. it’s good.
I think the family movie idea is great. Also she might like one with just you and her.
I raised 3 kids. Bribery, blackmail, extortion, threats, etc. were part of my normal parenting skills.
frank
@ANVRSADDAY - ooh. extortion: my favorite part of halloween. threats: do what i say or i will speak to you in public. is there another way of getting kids to grow up?
Turkey Jerky is pretty good spiced up just right…. I might even take a bribe if the task were menial enough. :D
@DislocatedTexan@ireallylikefood - i imagine you’d prefer an awesome cookie.
@promisesunshine - They’ll do it. Wait ‘em out. You’ll win.
@onestepcloserto_perfection - i heard win. i have no idea what we’re talking about. but i sure like the idea of winning.
Interesting. You have an 11 year old asking for a family movie. Now that is quite impressive. By the way, I love turkey jerky, so I think she’s pretty smart about that. *smile…
@MzSilver - i agree.
@promisesunshine - A clean house. Cleaned by not you.
@onestepcloserto_perfection - ha ha ha ha ha