February 24, 2012
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arrested by cupid?
I’m having one of those weeks. Since I appear to have nothing else to say, I shall make some people laugh (I hope).
I’ve been getting some interesting mail.
Yesterday, I got a warrant for my arrest. Yup. I’m going to jail for an unpaid parking ticket. Parking in this town is so much fun. Because I don’t have enough quarters, I acquire a $5 parking ticket. Which I then lose and it turns into a $20 parking ticket, which I don’t pay. Which then turns into a court date, which I put on a counter and bury with the crap of my life. And then I get arrested. Cue “Alice’s Restaurant” theme music. Have I been rehabilitated? No, apparently not. Because this is not the first time I’ve had a warrant for my arrest for a parking ticket. Last time, the sheriff (or perhaps a fine deputy- cue “I shot the sheriff”) knocked at my door. That was fun too. So, anyhow. It’s possible that the next time I have nothing to say for a few days, it will be because I’m enjoying incarceration of a different kind. I understand there’s a library.
I also got an email from OK Cupid. Yup. I did a quiz or something the other day and it was sponsored by OKCupid and I really hoped that I hadn’t done something stupid like sign up for OKCupid. But apparently, I did. I don’t even remember what the survey was about. I’m sure the information changed my life. Well, I know it did. Because here I am getting emails stating the fact (of course it’s absolute fact) that there are many men in my town who want me “so bad”. I just have to decide now where to go with this. Do I tell the spouseman (cue Batman theme song) that I’m shopping for loooove? Maybe he can help me find the perfect gentleman to date. Because. Wow. The choices were very fine and I have a lot of free time.
Comments (50)
Um….yeah. You’re riding the wild side of life there. LOL!
Wow, you do live life on the edge!
Ever notice how those dating site ads which feature “the impressive Todd, now available and looking for You” have had the same excessively hair-gelled dude on there for years?
@songoftheheart - @lanney - here um. no, i hadn’t noticed impressive Todd. I will look next time. i knew a fine todd in high school. wonder if it’s him.
Hmmmm….. how are the county lockups up around there?
They’re pretty bleak here.
Pay your tickets, ya naughty offender, you.
@roscoes_farm - yes, sir. i will pay my ticket. i wouldn’t want to have any quiet time.
I drop all my change in my van’s ashtray. Usually there’s several dollars in there. Unfortunately most of it tends to be pennies.
please. have a seat on the bench marked “W”. your lover will be arriving shortly.
ps: if you go to jail i’ll be very upset with you. very upset indeed. you know what that means, right?
The cheapest parking ticket here starts at $40. yuck. YOUUUUUUUUU need to get on it. Although jail might be nice for some free time.
That’s good stuff. Please don’t get arrested. Bad things happen in jail, even in the library. Although it’s possible you could do some good shopping for looooooooove while you’re in there.
why is it that I picture Barney Fife making an arrest for an unpaid parking ticket?
@Roadkill_Spatula - i could pave the world with pennies. it’s quarters that i lack. (but i’m still hopeful about getting new quarters. check out that play on words.)
@complicatedlight - p.s. no. no, i don’t.
@onestepcloserto_perfection - i was lucky. i didn’t the one on campus which is about that much.
@ordinarybutloud - maybe i could find a guy who is both in jail and on ok cupid. a two-for-one special.
@godfatherofgreenbay - the sheriff looked very serious (last time he visited) and said things like “i’m not leaving without this money”. the ole batting eyelashes trick didn’t do squat.
@promisesunshine - or gal. Whichever.
@ordinarybutloud - true. i should change my registration to get my full options.
@promisesunshine - but my real advice is DON’T GET ARRESTED.
@ordinarybutloud - i’m wearing dark glasses and a trenchcoat today. my own children don’t know who i am.
Such an interesting social life you have. I’m sure the peeps you meet if incarcerated will give you a little clue as to those you will meet on the dating site. Just kidding. Let’s hope the first one never happens and the second brings real joy to your life. It could happen. *warm smile…
@MzSilver - i have about all the joy i can handle already.
Cancel the dating site…You have no free time.
You’ll be behind bars.
I really wish you had told me about your life of crime before we became friends.
You make me feel much better about the state of my countertops, dear.
I had a trio of unpaid parking violations (parked on the street more than 48 hours or something) that I waited FOREVER to pay. Not because I didn’t know where they were but possibly because I am just a touch obstinate and resent the fact that the city can bilk me out of money for a minor oversight (like that they kept leaving tickets on the windshield). Call it civil disobedience. heh
@Bricker59 - complete accident that i neglected to fill you in. it was complicated, but i did manage to figure out how to cancel my dating. disappointment to all of those men, i’m sure.
@gayXianmom - my countertops are a disaster too. this is just not news.
@distractedbyzombies - civil disobedience gets you a warrant.
heh. yeah. to be fair i suppose you don’t…
:
@complicatedlight - and i still don’t. care to shine a complicated light on that?
Oh dear. The Cupid thing was probably my fault. Well, good luck finding a date? Perhaps he can bail you put of jail in exchange….
@leaflesstree - yes, it is. what was that quiz anyhow? do you remember? in any case, it’s ok. i shut it down already. spouseman wasn’t worried though.
i seem to be in quiz mode this week. i took a quiz tonight to see what goddess i am. (i know, right?)
@promisesunshine – it was “what chess piece are you.” life changing info, I’m sure.
@leaflesstree - oh yea. the black king. oh well. made my email interesting for a little while. i do so love interesting email.
I enjoyed the “rehabilitated” reference to Alice’s Restaurant. Maybe if you put on your OKCupid profile that you are an ex-con, maybe you won’t have to worry about a flood of desperate male lovers sending you e-mails. (Or maybe you’d get more.)
I am amazed at how many young, luscious, beautiful, sexy women they claim to be in my home town. I’ve travelled the town a great deal, and I haven’t seen any of them around here. But I wouldn’t worry. I’ve been on OK Cupid for a couple of years now and not one woman has ever contacted me. I think they’re getting desperate for some business.
@curiousdwk - my choices were in the underemployed 50somethings. tempting. really tempting. but i kinda like my old ball and chain. even though he’s growing a really cheesy mustache.
an alice’s restaurant reference is always appreciated, right?
oh good lucks on both arrested =)
did you really get arrested? handcuffs and in the back of the patrol car and everything?
@plantinthewindow - not yet. maybe today. we had big shindigs in town yesterday- the cops were busy.
@MichellelyNg - so far i’m still free.
@promisesunshine - so why did you get a warrant if you didn’t get arrested?
@plantinthewindow - i think they’re hoping that i will just pay the ticket.
@promisesunshine - so, go and pay the ticket.
@promisesunshine - happy that you are free from the cops…. good lucks in cupid one though.
@plantinthewindow - yes. tomorrow. of. course.
This is so cool, because, see I have no life. None whatsoever. Really. So, I get to live vicariously through outlaws like you. If I need you to off someone, will you? You truly are a wild girl. Hahahaha. You did make me smile and I thank you hugely.
@adventofreason - you have no idea how wild i truly am. i sometimes wear socks that don’t match.
Maniac! Once, I ran with scissors. Yeppers. I also had red wine with fish. I didn’t earn the moniker “Danger Girl” for nothing. So, Thelma, what do you want to do next?
Love,
Louise
@adventofreason - I have red wine with cookies. Louise, I wanna drive across the country. Love, Thelma.
I thought everyone had red wine with cookies. Hmmm. Okay, girl, you drive and I’ll take shotgun.
@adventofreason - are we going in my radical minivan or do you have a convertible?
I have a Jimmy. But it’s cool. It has a noseprint still on the windshield from my dog from years ago. Can’t bear to wipe it off. So, yeah, Jimmy and plenty of snacks, including a cooler of wine and a variety of cookies. This is going to be epic.
@adventofreason -
So you are wanted in more ways than one.
@vexations - i go immediately to… dead or alive. that would have been a much better name for this one.
@complicatedlight - the group w bench!! thank goodness somebody quoted alice’s restaurant. because. duh. i get it now.